Will you still need me?

Last time I wrote about the process of unpacking boxes following our fairly recent house move.  This blog begins on a similar note. One of the boxes I managed to attack a few days ago contained all my old LPs.  Unlike many people, we still do have a record player, though it is rarely brought into action.  I have had a quick look through; a few LPs may be worth trying to resell on eBay (a Beatles album being one example), but most are pretty worthless financially and unlikely to be played again, so will probably have to be disposed of one way or another.  Not surprisingly, relatively few people play records these days - even CDs seem to be almost a medium of the past!

I came across an LP by Cliff Richard which triggered a particular memory from many years ago.  Sue and I may have been courting at the time (I love that word, even if it is a little old fashioned).  I am not absolutely sure whether we were officially "an item", but I'm sure that I wanted us to be (my courting of Sue was quite a struggle, but that's another story!)  On the particular occasion I am thinking of, Sue was round at my house.  A Cliff album was playing at the time.  Just as I nipped to the kitchen to make us a coffee, the track "When I'm 64" happened to start playing. 

I didn't think of it has having any particular significance, but Sue was obviously listening to the words, which include the following: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"  I was a little nonplussed when, as I walked back into the room with Sue's coffee, she said in quite a strident voice, "The answer's 'No!'"  It took me a while to realise what she meant.  Perhaps she had thought that I was using Cliff's song as a third party chat-up line!  I hope that these days Sue might give a different answer: after all, we have both turned 60 this year, so not long to go!

I guess that the heart of the song addresses the issue of a long-term commitment in a relationship.  I was privileged to lead a wedding service last Saturday.  It was a very happy occasion as the bride and groom committed their lives together in front of their family and friends.  The previous weekend Sue and I had attended the 25th wedding anniversary celebrations of two friends of ours, at which they reaffirmed their wedding vows: another wonderful occasion.

Every married couple know that it's relatively easy to make vows to one another, but rarely so easy to keep them.  The vows which a couple exchange in a wedding service are amongst the biggest and most serious commitment a human being can make.  It's probably true to say that every marriage goes through sticky times.  So how do we handle those hard times?  How do we maintain that commitment to one another?

During last Saturday's wedding service I spoke about a verse in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, which says,  

'Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.' Ecclesiastes 4:12

A husband and wife committed to each other in love and trust can create a strong bond.  But if we include God in our marriage (making a chord of three strands), our relationship will be so much stronger.  I know that in our marriage there have been times when Sue and I have had to rely on the love and power of God to keep us together.  With God's help our marriage can last to the 64s and well beyond!

Boxes and boxes

We recently passed the six months mark since Sue and I moved to our new manse, and we were aware that we still had quite a lot of boxes which we hadn’t got round to unpacking.  To be honest, it may well be that some of those boxes have been waiting to be unpacked since we moved to Leicester from Doncaster three years ago!

I’m pleased to say that we have managed to open a number of the boxes, though it will take us a while longer to complete the task.  In some ways, opening the boxes has been a bit like Christmas or a birthday!   In certain cases we unearthed items which we had completely forgotten about.  Our intention is to slowly work our way through the boxes, deciding what to do with each item individually.

Perhaps not surprisingly, there were quite a lot of items which we decided we could easily manage to live without; they were sorted ready for the charity shop or for some other destination.  How easy it is to gather clutter as time goes by.  In reality, it’s probably true to say that a sizeable proportion of most people’s possessions could be dispensed with if push came to shove (I remember hearing a story of someone who visited a very remote part of the world with few modern comforts; the host said to the visitor, “Let me know if you need anything, and I’ll show you how to manage without it!”)

Some of the items we unpacked, of course, were very precious indeed, not in a financial sense, but in terms of their sentimental value or memory association.  For example, an item may be closely related to a certain important life event, such as a marriage or birth or other special occasion.  I did come across a bag which contained a collection of items from our honeymoon 37 years ago. We still haven’t got round to sorting them out; they have no monetary value but are precious to us!

Our box-unpacking experience so far has been thought-provoking.  Why do most of us tend to gather so much “stuff”? Does it indicate that we have bought into a materialistic outlook on life?  I have been led back to the words of Jesus, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’ (Luke 12:15)  I must say that I have found the process of sorting out and giving away a lot of items quite therapeutic.  Sue and I would both admit to have accumulated too much stuff.  If only we could agree on which items we no longer need!

Going bananas

The churches in Markfield held a children's Holiday Club this week, and I popped in yesterday morning to see how things were going.  The children seemed to be having a great time, with songs, games, stories, craft activities, food & drink keeping them well occupied and engaged.

This year's Holiday Club was based on a resource called "Going Bananas."  On each of the 3 days of the Holiday Club, a focus was made on a Biblical character who "went bananas" for God.  The first character was Noah, who built an ark in the desert when there was absolutely no sign of rain.  The second character was Zacchaeus, who not only climbed a tree (not the done thing for a man with any self-respect) but also gave away half his money to the poor!  Then the third character was the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with a very expensive jar of perfume as a sign of her love for him.

Three very different characters, but the one thing they had in common was that they were prepared to do something which many of their contemporaries would have thought to be crazy (or "bananas"). In Noah's case, he was ready to do what God had said even though it seemed to make no sense.  For Zacchaeus and the unnamed women, it was their meeting with Jesus which led them do something which must have shocked those who knew them.  There are so many other characters in the Bible and through history who could be used as examples of the same thing.

The Apostle Paul wrote in one of his letters, "Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools."  The truth is that sometimes to be obedient to God or to answer the call of Jesus is to run the very real risk of looking foolish in the eyes of our friends or family.  I suppose that when, many years ago, I made the decision to leave my well-paid job as a Chartered Accountant in order to train for the Methodist Ministry (with all the implications, not only for me but for my family as well), there will have been some who thought I was going bananas.  In human terms my decision didn't make much sense, but I knew then and still know that it was the right one, because it was what God had called me to do.

There was a piece on this morning's BBC Breakfast programme about so-called tomb-stoning, the practise of jumping from a high position such as a cliff or bridge into water.  The dangers of such activity was highlighted; a number of people have been killed or seriously injured in recent years.  That really is a foolish thing to do.  Aspects of the life of following Jesus can appear foolish, and there may be times when others think that we are going bananas.  But God's way is always the best way, whatever anyone else may think!

What is Community?

Later today I will be attending a Community Gathering in the village of Markfield.  It has been planned for people of all faiths or none as a united expression of sympathy in memory of all victims of terror, particularly in response to the recent Tunisian massacre.  Representatives of Markfield churches and the local Islamic Foundation will be amongst those in attendance.

As part of the proceedings I have been asked to speak on the question “What is community?”  The more I ponder that question, the more I realise that an apparently simple question is really rather profound!  “Community” is not as easy to define as one might think.  Yet we seem to know when we don’t have it!  How many times, for example, we hear people say as they look back to days gone by, “We have lost that sense of community which we used to have.”

Human beings are created for community.  We could think of John Donne’s oft quoted saying, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”  We are made for connectedness.  In the Biblical book of Genesis, we read, “The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:8).

In searching for a definition of “community”, I found myself dissatisfied by what I found in various dictionaries.  I like the following definition suggested by one of my brothers-in-law:  "A group of people who look out for and support each other and rejoice in their diversity.”

In my talk I will also attempt to briefly address the question as to how we can seek to create community.  Perhaps my training as a preacher has led me to mention 4 points, all starting with the letter “C” (there could probably be many more, but I thought it best to stick to 4!)  I don’t have space here to develop the points.  I simply highlight them, together with appropriate quotations:

Commitment: “We must become bigger than we have been: more courageous, greater in spirit, larger in outlook.”  Haile Selassie.

Communication: “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.”  Rollo May.

Compassion: “Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It's the impetus for creating change.”  Max Carver.

Choice: “This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect.”  Dwight D. Eisenhower

I will finish with a quote from Jean Vanier: “Community is a sign that love is possible in a materialistic world where people so often either ignore or fight each other.”

I hope and pray that our Community Gathering will be one step in helping to build true community.  Perhaps a seed will be sown.

My great mistake

Many years ago some friends asked me to take photos of their wedding day.  In those days I fancied myself as a budding David Bailey, so I rather foolishly agreed.  The couple gave me a list of images they wanted from the day, and I took my role very seriously.  I very much hoped that my efforts would result in a series of photos which would form a wonderful reminder of treasured memories.

The whole day went well, and I returned home to unload the film, ready for posting off to the developers.  Then came what was one of the worst moments of my life, when I realised that I had not loaded the film properly into the camera!  All my efforts would come to nothing.  What was far more important, and dominated my thoughts during the whole time that the bride and groom were on honeymoon, was the desperate disappointment they would experience when they discovered what had taken place.

As it happened, they were amazingly gracious and forgiving, and we remained friends despite my horrendous error.  Of course, the advent of digital photography brought with it many advantages, including the ability to see instantly the results of a camera shot.  If only digital cameras had been around in those far off days!  Even though I do now use a digital camera, I still miss the days when I would excitedly receive a developed set of photos through the post; I love looking back through old photo albums.

I was recently looking through some old photos and came cross one from when I was part of a school cross country team (I was much fitter in those days!)  The strange thing was, that try as I might, I could name only one of the other team members.  Most of the names had slipped from my memory (it was, after all, more than 40 years ago when the photo was taken).

As I was pondering the fact that people and names slip from our memory over the years, I was reminded of the Bible verse where God says, “I will never forget you.”  It’s great to know that although many of the people we meet through life will forget all about us, we will always remain in the heart and mind of God.

Lessons from the garden

One of the joys of moving to a new house is the delight in discovering, as the natural growing season progresses, which plants are in the garden.  We moved to our new house in January, a time when most of the garden was dormant and there were few signs of what was to come.  Over the past few months we have witnessed the growth of various plants, some of which have provided unexpected but much appreciated beauty.

My late dad was a gardener in his early working life.  He had a real gift which he used to good effect.  In our early married lives, Sue and I very much appreciated dad's help in sorting out our garden whenever we moved home.  He somehow seemed to have the ability to completely transform a garden's appearance in a remarkably short time.  Although I do enjoy gardening (when I find the time), I don't, unfortunately, appear to have inherited my dad's green fingers!

What all gardeners understand, of course, is that it is one thing to tidy up a garden and quite another thing to keep it looking good!  Neglect a garden for a relatively short time and it can soon get out of control (have you ever wondered why weeds still keep growing even when they are not watered or cared for?)  To look their best, gardens have to be constantly attended to.

Jesus often used the world of nature in the stories which he told to help people understand the things of God.  I have sometimes thought that the nature of gardening can be likened to development in our Christian lives.  Coincidentally, my next sermon will use a passage from Paul's letter to the Ephesians (chapter 4 verses 17-32), which is headed "Instructions for Christian Living."  In the passage, Paul talks about living the new life in Christ, and reminds his readers to "put off the old self ... and put on the new self." 

The way of following Jesus is different in many ways from the way which society and our culture can often lead us.  Just as a gardener needs to continue to deal with weeds etc., so in our Christian lives we need to deal with things which detract from living the full life to which Christ has called us.

I'm certainly not the world's best gardener, but I intend to try and do my best to give regular attention to my new garden.  I also want to try and live a life which is honouring and pleasing to God.  I know that I haven't always done so, but thankfully God is a God of grace and forgiveness, and he gives us his Spirit to assist in the process.  Like my garden, I am a work in progress!