The Prayer Paradox

There are a number of aspects of church life which puzzle me; one of them concerns the subject of prayer.  On the one hand, most Christians would agree that prayer is an important part of Christian life.  Jesus himself was a man of prayer; we find as we read church history that just about every man or woman who was used in great ways by God was a man or woman for whom prayer was a vital component of daily life.  All this indicates that, in the words of hymn-writer James Montgomery, “Prayer is the Christian’s vital breath.”  And yet, paradoxically, it is my experience over many years that in most churches the prayer meeting is often the least well attended meeting of the week!

C.H. Spurgeon was a great nineteenth century Baptist preacher.  In Spurgeon’s time, steam was the power source of the day. Boiler rooms were the powerhouses, the driving forces of everything from vast machines in factories to household heating systems. Spurgeon saw the prayers of his people as the spiritual power behind his preaching and ministry (the prayer room was the ‘boiler room’ of the church!)  This is why he told his fellow pastors, “We shall never see much change for the better in our churches in general until the prayer meeting occupies a higher place in the esteem of Christians.”

I have recently been reading a book titled, “The State of the Church”, published in 1904, in which the author addresses issues relating to declining numbers and consequent lessening of Christian influence on society.  Recognising the situation to be serious, the author (Andrew Murray) highlights the fundamental issue: “As we contemplate the work to be done, we are conscious that the fundamental difficulty is not one of people or money, but of Spiritual Power.  The Christian experience of the Church is not deep, intense, and living enough, to meet the world’s needs.”

The subtitle of the book is, “A Plea For More Prayer”; again and again Murray stresses the urgent need for fervent prayer, as the Church seeks to open itself to the renewing power of God in order to fulfil its God-given mission.  He writes, “New methods can accomplish nothing unless begun, continued and completed in prayer, and permeated from first to last with the Holy Spirit of God.”  Some of my most precious and impactful memories from over the years come from times of prayer with other followers of Jesus.  Only the other day I came across some information relating to a city-wide Mission in Sheffield at the turn of the Millennium, when I and an Anglican colleague were asked to coordinate prayer support for the Mission.  The main events took place at the Sheffield Arena; a room below the main arena was used as a prayer room, and what amazing times we had!

Reading Murray’s book has challenged me about my own commitment to the life of prayer.  Am I, are we (the Church), taking seriously the call to prayer?  As we consider the challenges facing not only the Church but also our nation (and the world around us) we need to hear the words of Andrew Murray:

“It seems to me we have to get back to prayer.  O God, forgive us for our prayerlessness!  God knows what a prayerless people we are.  I do not wonder at things being as they are.”

Stick at it

Here’s a question for you: What do the following people have in common: Walt Disney, Vincent Van Gogh, Michael Jordon, Rudyard Kipling and Sir James Dyson?

Whilst you ponder that question, let me tell you a little about my attempt to gain fitness.  During the second half of last year I accomplished the ‘Couch to 5k’ challenge, which is aimed, over a 9-week period, to gradually build you up to be able to run 5k (about 30 minutes of running).  Of course, the real challenge was how to avoid losing the momentum.  For some weeks I ran for half an hour 3 times a week.  As winter drew on, I changed to using my cross-trainer which is located in the garage.

In some ways I am enjoying the exercise, but the truth is that every time I am on the cross-trainer a little voice inside my mind keeps saying things like, “well, you’ve done 15 minutes, surely it’s time to stop now – you don’t need to do 30 minutes EVERY time, you can do that next time!”  I find it extremely difficult to shut out that voice; there is a great temptation to quit early, though so far I have managed to keep going to the end.

Which brings my back to the question with which I began this blog.  Last week I took a school assembly and the theme given to me by the school was ‘Challenges and perseverance.”  I asked the children to identify five famous people (some no longer alive) from the clues I gave them.  They did well to guess all five.  I then went on to talk a little about them, and especially about the setbacks and failures which they experienced.

Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because, his editor said, he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”  During his lifetime Vincent Van Gogh received hardly any acclaim for his work and sold only one of his paintings, and that was to a friend for a very small amount of money. Despite this, he continued working throughout his life, never seeing success himself.  His works now fetch many millions.  Basket ball player Michael Jordon once said, “I have missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the gam winning shot, and I have missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  Author Rudyard Kipling was fired from his role as contributor to the San Francisco Examiner in 1889 because he was told by an editor, “I’m sorry Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English language.”  While developing his vacuum, Sir James Dyson went through 5,126 failed prototypes and his savings over 15 years.  But the 5,127th prototype worked, and the Dyson brand became a best-selling bagless vacuum brand around the world; he is now a billionaire.

What do they have in common – they persevered, they didn’t give up, despite the massive setbacks they faced.  I shared with the children a verse from St Paul’s letter to the Galatians, ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up’ (6.9).  Sometimes life is really hard, and the temptations to quit are strong.  But we challenge is always to press on, and those who follow Christ know that he is our constant companion.

Let me end with a little saying which I came cross: “Postage stamps are getting more expensive, but at least they have one attribute that most of us could emulate: they stick to one thing until they get there”.

The power of words

I was interested to read a recent post on Twitter from well-known ‘Money-Saving Expert’ Martin Lewis.  He is a regular ‘tweeter’ but had taken a break over the Christmas holiday period to focus on his family (which is to be applauded – perhaps more of us should seriously consider whether we spend more time on social media than is healthy for our relationships with friends and family).  Anyway, this was his first tweet following the break:

Good morning. Happy New Year. Slightly nervous about re-engaging on twitter today. Having had a break, I realise how the 1 nasty tweet easily out-impacts the 1,000 nice on my psyche.

I have been pondering on why it is that somehow one careless, unkind or hurtful word can seem to have a more powerful, negative and lasting effect on a person that many kind, thoughtful and encouraging words?  Whatever the reason, it should make us take great care in the words we use.  One of the regrettable aspects of social media is that some people seem very quick to offer critical and hurtful comments towards others.  But it’s not just on social media that this occurs.  I am sure that every person has been guilty at some time of causing hurt by words which we have spoken, and sometimes that hurt can be tremendously difficult to erase.

As New Testament writer James reminds us, the tongue is a powerful instrument which can be used to destructive effect:

‘It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell’ (James 3.5-6).

He continues:

‘This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue - it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!’ (James 3.7-10).

If I say something hurtful or unkind to Sue, I know that it remains with her, even though I apologise and tell her how much I love her.  As we all know, once a word is out of our mouth we cannot recall it, however much we may regret saying that word.  It is not surprising that the Bible has much to say on the use of words.  For example, Proverbs 15.4 says, ‘Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim’.  Peter writes, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech’ (1 Peter 3.10).  Paul is another who weighs in with his instruction, ‘Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you’ (Ephesians 4.29).

I am far from unblemished in words which I have used to others.  There have been many times when I have greatly regretted using unkind of unthoughtful words.  But in a society where criticism and judgement of others seems to be increasing, I would suggest that it is time for all of us to do our best to keep a tight reign in our tongues.  That is no easy task, but it is surely worthwhile.

I recently came across an image which I find extremely thought-provoking:

What true love looks like

I was involved recently in a discussion about Christmases past, and I encouraged those who were there to share some of their memories of the Christmas season.  One of the traditions which was mentioned by several people was that of hanging up a stocking on Christmas Eve, followed by the excitement of waking up early on Christmas morning, eager to discover what gifts Father Christmas (Santa) had left!  It is interesting that the tradition seems to have continued down through the ages, though I imagine that expectations of the contents of the stocking have changed somewhat over the years!

A related tradition is for parents to use Santa's impending visit as a lever to encourage good behaviour in their children.  I seem to remember my parents promising that if I was a good boy then Santa would visit our house, and I probably said something similar to my own children.  It's certainly not unusual for modern day children to be threatened with a lack of presents if they misbehave.

Last month, Sue and I enjoyed a short break in Scarborough.  Whilst there, we popped into the local charity shop and I came cross something which made me chuckle; it seemed to me to be a great item to use as a visual aid at Christmas time.  It was a large red decorated Christmas sack, on which were the words, in large letters, 

DEAR SANTA, I HAVE BEEN VERY, VERY, VERY GOOD

I suppose that the idea is that because I have been very, very, very good, I need a large sack into which all the presents I deserve can be placed!  It seems to reinforce the stereotypical view that we get what we deserve, whether for good or ill.

One of the big problems with that understanding is that many people project it onto their understanding of God's love.  In other words, they think that God's love has to be earned and deserved.  In fact, that couldn't be further from the truth.  As the apostle Paul writes in one of his letters,

'the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us.'

In a recent church service which I led, a couple brought their daughter, who was just a few weeks old, to be dedicated to God.  During the service I asked the parents whether they loved their daughter.  When, naturally, they answered, "yes", I then asked them why they loved her.  The mum responded, "because she's our daughter!"  The little girl hasn't done anything to earn her parents' love, but she is deeply loved.  If that can be true of human parents, how much more of God, our heavenly Father?

God doesn't loves us because we are good, or for anything that we can do.  He loves us because he loves us.  Nothing we can do can make him love us any more, and nothing we can do can make him love us any less.

At Christmas we celebrate the amazing truth that in Jesus Christ, God stepped into our world.  Through the earthly life of Jesus we can see the full extent of God's wonderful love for us, a love that will never end.  Now, that's worth celebrating!

Friendships

Last month, Sue and I attended a retirement course organised by the Methodist Church.  I won't officially retire from full-time ministry until the summer of 2020, but the aim of the course was to help Ministers who are within a couple of years of retirement to consider some of the relevant issues.  Overall, we found the course to be helpful and it certainly gave us some matters for thought (and the food at the conference centre was very good, which is always helpful!)

We were given a couple of exercises (not of the physical kind) to do in preparation.  One of these was to prepare a "Life Map", which is a diagrammatic representation of one's life in terms of how one spends one's time.  The intention of this exercise was to stop and think about all the things which occupy one's time and energy.  To help with the activity, an example was given. The purpose of the exercise was to think about one's Life Map, and then consider what one might want to change or do differently in the next stage of life (i.e. post-retirement).

I did my best to create a Life Map based on how I generally spend my time, and it was certainly helpful to have another example in front of me.  One thing which really stood out was that on the example there was a section of the Life Map which covered time spent with friends.  As I reflected on that, I realised how little time, over the years, we have been able to give to spending time with friends outside our immediate geographical area.  I think a lot of this has to do with time and other constraints places in us by the fact that I am a Methodist Minister.  Having only one day off per week (so no weekends) and 5 Sundays off each year, means that there is relatively little time to visit friends who are in other parts of the country.

One of the joys of being on the retirement course was that we met up with a couple with whom we were friends at ministerial training college.  It was the first time for over 25 years that we had seen them, and it was great to be able to spend time together.  Although we had exchanged Christmas cards over the years, our paths had never crossed in all that time.  Having said that Ministerial life is one reason why some of our friendships have been neglected, it is also true to say that if one really wants to do something one can often find a way.  We have another couple which we knew from college days who live within striking distance and we are in the process of fixing up a date when we can get together early in the new year.  We met some other friends early this year at another conference and promised to meet up, but sadly have still not got round to arranging to do so!

Having gone through the process of creating the Life Map, and focussing on the neglected area of friendships, it has made me determined that post-retirement we will make a determined effort to visit friends and try to make up for the neglected years.  Friends are precious, and we should treasure them, and nurture the friendships which we have.  I am greatly challenged by some thought-provoking words of Martin Luther King Jr., “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”