Spending time

I spent part of yesterday with the leadership team of one of my churches.  After our arrival at the venue (and the obligatory cup of coffee!), we discussed our expectations and what we were looking forward to about the day.  One recurring theme was the opportunity to spend time together. 

It just so happens that the phrase “spending time” had been on my mind quite a bit recently.  Many of us complain about not having enough time, but the reality is that each day we are alive, we are each given exactly the same amount of time: 24 hours.  The difference comes in how we decide to “spend” that time.  If we go shopping with, say, £30, in our pocket, then we have a choice how to spend the money: a coffee and cake, an item of clothing, a book, or whatever.  In the same way, we are given a set amount of time to spend each day, but we make choices about how to spend it.

I have been reading a book by Rob Parsons called “Loving Against the Odds”.  It is a book for married couples (or those contemplating marriage).  The author looks at some of the issues which couples can face in their relationship.  Rob Parsons founded an organisation called “Carefor the Family”, which seeks to support and encourage families and marriages.  Over the years, he has come across many of the issues which cause difficulties in relationships, one of which is the use (or misuse) of time.  When we don’t devote sufficient quality time to a relationship, that relationship will inevitably suffer.

Many of us live busy lives, with all sorts of demands placed on us.  It is not difficult to fall into the trap of spending so much time on various areas of life that we end up neglecting our relationships with those we love most.  When we make bad choices about how we spend our time, consequences will follow.  In his book, Rob Parsons quotes a moving song which was sung by the late Harry Chapin, “The Cat’s in the Cradle”.  The song illustrates very powerfully the potential consequences of a bad choice in the use of time:

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
You know we'll have a good time then.

I've long since retired and my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you.

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
We're gonna have a good time then.

Time is precious: spend it wisely!

Political beauty contest?

The campaign to become the new leader of the Conservative Party (and thus Prime Minister) has filled much news media in recent days.  Of course, it is only members of the Conservative Party who will ultimately make the decision, but many of those of us who are not included in that group have found the campaign of interest.  There was some amusement as the number of Tory MPs who initially indicated that they would stand for election grew into double figures.  As the rounds have progressed, however, we are now left with the final two who will battle it out for the prize of becoming the UK Prime Minister (certainly not a role I would relish in the current climate!)

As part of the election process, the various candidates have sought to highlight their particular take on the future (particularly with regard to Brexit) and what they will be able to bring to the office of P.M. and Party leader.  Personally, I rather enjoyed Rory Stewart’s idea of visiting various parts of the country, engaging with ordinary people, and addressing the concerns which they raised.  He certainly seemed to bring something new to the campaign.  One of the comments made by a number of people about Rory Stewart was that ‘he tells it as it is’ – i.e. he is a politician who speaks the truth.  Many people who disagree with his way of seeing things seem to admire him in that respect.

Of course, that gets to the heart of one of the key issues surrounding this or any other political debate: can we trust the words and promises which are spoken?  In some instances, issues relating to the personal lives of candidates have been highlighted.  Is that relevant?  Is it just about electing someone who can be a good leader of the country, or should we take note of how they live their lives outside politics?  Some would say that a person’s private life should be kept separate.  Others would argue that a person’s choices and actions in their private life reflect their character and as such are bound to influence their public life.

The selection process may have appeared at one level a little like a political beauty competition; who can manage to appear the most attractive to the voters?  Perhaps most of those who will cast their vote will be able to judge only by appearances and spoken words, without ever being really sure of what is in a person’s mind and heart.  I am reminded of an account in the Biblical book of 1 Samuel, when the prophet Samuel is told by God to anoint one of the sons of Jesse as the new king.  One by one, Jesse’s sons pass by Samuel.  It seems that by outward appearance they were impressive, but each time God says, “no, he’s not the one”.  In the end, Jesse has to fetch the youngest son, David, from the fields.  Although on the face of it he seems the least likely choice, he is the one God has chosen.  Samuel is reminded, ‘The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart’ (1 Samuel 16.7).

Paul urges us to ‘pray for all those in authority’ (1 Timothy 2.2).  Whether or not we like either of the two remaining candidates, we are called to pray for them, and we need also to pray that those who are eligible to cast a vote do so wisely.  Finally, we need to continue to pray urgently for our nation and its leaders, for God’s blessing and guidance.  Prayer changes things!

The blessing of kindness

I was extremely saddened and disturbed to see some of the images from yesterday’s anti-Trump protest in London.  One grey-haired gentlemen (described as a ‘Trump supporter’) was confronted by an angry, snarling mob who were crying out “Nazi scum” and jostling both him and the nearby female police officer.  Another clip showed an elderly man being pushed to the ground for daring to hold differing views.  Whatever we may think of Mr Trump, there is absolutely no excuse for such behaviour.

Increasingly, we are seeing in relation to many areas of life, violent and abusive comments (and sometimes actions) flying about with little discrimination.  It seems that people have become far less tolerant of opposing views, and somehow unable to engage in calm debate on issues.    One of the questions asked recently on BBC’s Question Time programme was, “Why is everyone so angry about everything all the time?”  It sometimes seems like that is the case. The voice of calm reasons appears almost silent.

I was pleased, therefore, to read a recent post on Twitter by Annunziata Rees-Mogg (one of the newly elected MEPs).  She made the comment in relation to a parliamentary candidate from another political party who has been widely and vociferously condemned for an action some time ago.  Rees-Mogg commented, “We all make mistakes, have compassion. We all have opinions, listen. We are fallible, be kind.”    If only we as a society could take those words on board!

Interestingly, in response to the Question Time question, MP Barry Gardiner made the point that many people have become so consumed with their own rights and what they feel is owed to them, that they have overlooked their duties and responsibilities.  They ask, “what can I get out of it?”, but fail to ask “what can I contribute?”  Jesus himself said, ‘It is better to give than to receive.’’  Like Rees-Mogg, Gardiner also called for more kindness in our treatment of each other.  Kindness is one of the fruit of the Spirit listed by Paul.  I pray that in the life of the Church and in society in general we may find the ability to display maturity, understanding and kindness, even where we strongly disagree.

Ephesians 4.32, 'Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you'