Never

In my last blog I wrote about the death of my 95-year-old mum.  A few days ago, we held a service of thanksgiving for her life.  It was a truly uplifting occasion, as we celebrated mum’s life, the person she was, and the precious memories which she leaves in our hearts.  At the same time, there was a natural sadness at our loss.

Mum had indicated her wishes for the service some time ago.  She had chosen the hymns and Bible readings, and also the members of the family whom she wanted to take part in specific ways.  She had indicated that she wanted me to read one of the Bible passages (Psalm 84) and also to share a few words of testimony.  I didn’t find it easy, as at times the emotion of the occasion did touch me, but I was pleased to be able to fulfil mum’s wishes.  Mum always said that the twin pillars of her life were “my faith and my family”, and both elements were combined in the service.  It was a tribute to mum that all her grandchildren (apart from four who are currently overseas) had travelled from around the UK to be at the service.

I chose to read Psalm 84 from a Bible which my mum and dad had given to me back in 1979 (I think it may have been when I passed my final accountancy exams).  Mum had written an inscription inside the Bible, which included a Bible verse, Joshua chapter 1 verse 9:

‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.’

That verse has always been precious to me, especially during the tough times which I have encountered over the years. During the past 10 months we have lost not only my mum but also my much-loved younger brother, Phil.  Phil’s death especially, at such a relatively young age, was a rather bitter pill to swallow.  It seems that a significant number of people known to me are currently experiencing really hard times, especially with health issues.  I visited someone fairly recently who has been experiencing a number of debilitating health conditions and as a consequence was struggling in their faith.  Being a follower of Jesus does not exempt us from the hard times.

One of God’s promises which we need to hang on to is found in Hebrews chapter 13 verse 5, ‘I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.’  Ney Bailey, in her book “Faith is Not a Feeling” makes the important point that, “The word never does not convey the force of his statement.  In the original language the word used is called a “triple negative,” and there is no single-word English equivalent.  In essence, God was saying, ‘I will never, no never, no never leave you or forsake you.’”

A truth to cherish.

My faith and my family

My mum died yesterday.  Though of course I will miss her, I can’t be too sad, because she had lived into her 96^th year and leaves a whole host of treasured memories.  Mum had a radiant Christian faith, and so I can picture in my mind’s eye not only the welcome she will have received in heaven but also the reunion she will experience both with my dad (who died over 25 years ago) and my brother Phil, who died last year.  Though there is a sense of loss, I can only rejoice for mum.  Over the last few years she became increasingly frail, and although inwardly she was remarkably content, her death is something of a release for her, especially when one considers what she is currently experiencing – a new life free from any pain, struggle, sadness or tears.

Some time ago mum planned her thanksgiving service, and her Christian faith and the strong assurance she had of her eternal destiny shines through her choice of hymns and Bible readings.

One of the Bible readings which mum chose was from 1 Peter chapter 1, verses 3-9.  Peter is writing about how Christian believers need to see the struggles of our earthly life (which are temporary) in the context of the glorious eternal future we have in Christ Jesus.  This is the passage from The Message version of the Bible:

‘What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven - and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all - life healed and whole.  I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.  You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him - with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.’

Many times, I heard mum say that the two foundations of her life were ‘my faith and my family.’  I thank God for the example she set in what it means to live a life of faith, especially in the tough times, and to love one’s family.  Thanks, mum xxx

Reflecting on 63 years

Today is my 63^rd birthday.  Age is a strange phenomenon; in my mind I don’t feel a great deal different from what I’ve felt during much of my adult life.  My body, however, informs me that the years are rolling by.  Earlier in the week, as I was pondering on my forthcoming birthday, my mind took me back to an incident during the time when Sue and I were courting (I seem to recall that I was much keener on Sue than she was on me!)  Sue had dropped round to my house for a coffee.  I happened to be playing a Cliff Richard LP, and as I was in the kitchen making the coffee, the track “When I’m 64” began to play.

This Beatles’ song looks to the future and includes the words, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm sixty-four?”  As I walked back into the room with the coffees, Sue said in fairly loud voice, “The answer’s no!”  I didn’t immediately understand what she was talking about, until eventually I linked her statement with the song words.  So only another year to go until (God-willing) I reach the age of 64, though I’m hoping that Sue might have changed her mind by then!

I’ve been in a rather reflective mood this week, recalling memories of people and events from down the years.  Although there have been some really dark periods, I have to say that as I look back I am filled with an overwhelming sense of thanksgiving and gratitude.  I have so much to thank God for.  I could use the words which the late Ken Dodd often sang, “I thank the Lord I've been blessed with more than my share of happiness.”

I cherish my family, the friends I have made over the years, so many wonderful experiences and the privilege of ministry.  I would be lying if I said that life has always been rosy.  On occasions I have felt at my absolute wit’s end.  But from the day when, aged 5, I invited Jesus into my life, I know that he has walked with me every step of the way.  He has poured his grace and love upon me, he has been there to strengthen me in times of great weakness, he has held me when I felt lost and alone.  Everything I have I owe to him.

The words of a song by Andre Crouch express something of how I feel right now:

How can I say thanks for the things
You have done for me?
Things so undeserved yet you gave
To prove your love for me
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude
All that I am, and ever hope to be
I owe it all to thee