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Generally speaking, I don't have much trouble sleeping at night. In most cases, very soon after my head hits the pillow I drift off into the land of Nod. I do realise that there are a significant number of people for whom sleeping does not come easy, and night-time can be very trying. My problem, on occasions, is the opposite - I sometimes find myself drifting off when I should be wide awake! Early in my days as a Minister I was visiting an elderly gentleman. We were sitting in front of a glowing coal fire and despite my best efforts I just could not keep my eyes open!
So going to sleep isn't often a problem for me. That's not to say that I don't usually wake up a few times during the night. Because it's not always easy to get straight back to sleep again after waking, I have developed a technique which helps. I get out of bed, visit the loo (even if I don't feel the need) and when I get back to bed I can almost always get straight back to sleep. Having said that, I have developed the very bad habit of checking my phone to see if my brother in New Zealand has updated his Facebook page while I've been asleep!
One night recently I made my loo visit but when I turned on the tap to wash my hands there was no water supply! In my half-asleep state I began to be concerned that somewhere in the house a water pipe had sprung a major leak, and went in search of a big pool of water. I did try to encourage my wife Sue to help in the search but, not surprisingly in the early hours, she wasn't too keen. Having discovered no sign of a leak I went back to bed.
To cut a long story short, I discovered the next day that there had been a main pipe burst somewhere in the local area, causing the water supply to a number of houses to be interrupted. Looking back on this incident, I was reminded just how easily we can come to take for granted even the very precious things in life. Water is life-giving, we cannot exist without it. How fortunate we are in our part of the world to be able to turn on the tap at home and have instant clean water (it is estimated that around 800 million people in the world do not have access to clean water - surely a scandal).
Another incident which cause me to think along similar lines was when a church friend was suddenly rushed into hospital after suffering a heart-attack. It came as a huge shock to everyone who knew him, especially as as far as anyone knew he seemed so fit and healthy. Thanks to the excellent medical services (and much prayer), he is now home again and beginning the road to recovery. Yet the whole incident was a reminder both of how fragile life is and also how we should never take life for granted.
So that's been the big lesson for me this past couple of weeks. Appreciate all that I have, and never take any of it for granted. As a friend once reminded me, we need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
One of the greatest privileges and blessings of my life as a Methodist Minister has been the opportunity to meet some truly remarkable people. Over the years, in the various churches with which I've been involved, I have come across some men and women whose lives have so demonstrated the character of Jesus, through their love, grace, compassion, servanthood and godliness, that I have felt truly honoured to have known them.
Today I was privileged to be involved in a service to celebrate the life of a very remarkable lady called Beryl. I had known her only for the past four years, but it is clear that her life has touched the lives of many others, as family and friends gathered today to give thanks for her life. Two of Beryl's brothers read poems which Beryl had written some years ago, both of which were tremendously moving. I have been given permission to reproduce one of Beryl's poems here. It's called "Parkinson's Disease - A View from the Inside", and was written 15 years after Beryl had first been diagnosed with Parkinson's:
I've had this now for fifteen years.
The frustration felt can bring on tears,
but sympathy is not what I need,
just understanding this strange disease.
I want to put you at your ease.
One moment you may see me walking well,
Another time I can hardly move -
you just can't tell
which way the medication will work.
Sometimes it makes me want to jerk,
you may think I've gone berserk.
How hard I try I can't keep still
and sometimes I can feel quite ill
with writhing head and swinging arms,
I can't even talk in normal terms.
Then after a 'do' like that
I find I've gone off completely flat;
my body feels like a lump of lead,
I find it hard to lift my head.
It's then I feel so very weak,
I find it difficult to speak.
You may think I'm always sad
even if I'm feeling glad,
because it's difficult to smile
when muscles set and won't move awhile
and I can't do what I want to do,
like singing favourite hymns with you.
One day a dear friend said to me,
"Beryl you just have to 'be'".
I've found God closer every day,
he's shown me of my need to pray
and this is one thing I can do.
He meets me in the stillness, too
so inwardly I know his peace
and from my ailments find release.
I count my blessings every day,
that he'll be with me all the way.
I thank God for my family,
and friends like you who help me 'be'.
Beryl's absolute trust in God, and her experience of his constant love, had remained steadfast through the fifteen years of increasing disability through the onset of Parkinson's Disease. What is more remarkable still is the truth that she continued to have a radiant Christian faith through a further twenty years! All through that time she never complained, nor was she ever angry with God.
Her remarkable, radiant faith is a shining example and a huge challenge to us all. The problem of human suffering is one which challenges even the greatest theologians and Biblical scholars. Ultimately there probably is no fully satisfactory answer which will please everyone. What Beryl would have said, however, is something like this: "I don't understand it either, but I do know that in my suffering God is with me, and that makes all the difference, and I know that my suffering will one day come to an end and I will spend eternity with God."
About once each half term I am invited to lead an assembly in one of our local schools. Although it is a pleasure to do so, and the children in the school are really well behaved and attentive, I generally find the experience a little bit daunting. Being in the position of having to talk to a hall full of schoolchildren is something slightly out of my comfort zone, not least because I am aware that I have to try and communicate in a way which speaks to the children.
The school where I take the assemblies has a theme of the week, and the intention is that the assembly should link in which the given theme. Sometimes it's fairly easy to create an assembly on the given theme, on other occasions it can be a bit of a struggle. The school theme for this week was "Self discipline." I did wonder at one point whether I should illustrate the result of not being self-disciplined by turning up late to assembly, but ultimately I didn't go with that idea!
I quoted a few famous people on the theme. For example, Leicester City hero Jamie Vardy, explaining his own phenomenal rise to fame and fortune, has stated, "The secret's just lots and lots of hard work." I know from my own experience as a football chaplain that however skilfull a player may be, unless they have the commitment and dedication to the hard work of training (i.e. self-discipline), they will never reach their full potential.
Edmund Hillary, the first person to conquer Everest (one boy thought it might have been Bear Grylls!) said, "It's not the mountain that we conquer but ourselves." That inner determination is such a vital part of life. As the Bible says, 'A person without self-discipline is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.' (Proverbs 25.28).
Of course, the children like to get involved rather than just listen to me, so I invited 6 of them to come out to the front and try to stand on one leg for 30 seconds. Perhaps not surprisingly, they all managed the task with ease. I then asked them to repeat the feat, but this time with their eyes closed. Within a few seconds they were struggling (one boy fell over after a couple of seconds). Only one of the children managed the full 30 seconds without putting their second leg down (I'm not sure that you should try it at home!) I informed the children that the word record for the longest period standing on one leg is (apparently) over 76 hours, and that must have taken a heck of a lot of self-discipline.
The final Biblical quote I had was from Matthew's gospel (24.13), where Jesus says, 'Staying with it to the end - that's what God requires. Stay with it to the end.' The life of following Jesus, just like life itself, can be very tough at times. Self-discipline plays a huge part in carrying on through the tough times, and fulfilling the calling of Jesus on our lives. Resisting temptation can be a real struggle, and is impossible without some self-discipline. But of course, the message of the Gospel is that ultimately self-discipline and self-effort are not enough. Indeed, it is only when we admit that our own efforts are inadequate, that we truly recognise our need of God's help.
Self discipline is important, but even that is not enough without God's help. Perhaps trying to succeed with self-discipline alone is like trying to live life standing only on one leg!
