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One of the most devastating and debilitating feelings a person can have is that their life is of no significance or value. When those kinds of feelings inhabit a person's heart and mind it often leaves them feeling isolated and depressed, and can rob them of vision and purpose for the way ahead.
Feelings of insignificance can attack us through many different channels. Sometimes they come through words which are said to us, perhaps a parent repeatedly telling a child, "you're no good" (I remember hearing about a pupil who achieved 99% in an exam and all their parents wanted to concentrate on was the 1% which was wrong!) Perhaps when a person loses their job, or a relationship breaks down, they are led into feelings of failure and despondency. It may be that this feeling of insignificance lies behind many of the alarming number of suicides in the UK each year. I really wonder how many people struggle with this whole question - does my life matter? The desperately sad thing is that this sense of insignificance is based on a totally false premise!
It seems that scientists are discovering more and more about the amazing universe in which we live. I am grateful to a friend, Anne, who pointed out a link to a web-page which highlights a relatively recent discovery made via the Hubble Space Telescope. The telescope picked out what appears to be thousands of galaxies which scientists calculate to be over 13 billion light years distance from earth: the most distant objects ever photographed! The figures are absolutely mind-boggling. What particularly caught my eye, however, was the headline on the web-page: 'Proof That We Really Are Insignificant.'
But is that really what these amazing images suggest? My friend Anne responded as follows: "What's
even more staggering is that in this whole incredible universe, God
considers us to be totally significant and the object of his love!" Absolutely!! Of course, in comparison with the vastness of the universe (and there is so much of it which humankind hasn't yet discovered!), even this beautiful planet on which we live can be seen to be a relatively insignificant speck of dust. Yet human beings are made absolutely significant because we are the objects of God's love. The Creator loves his creation!
Whenever you are assailed by feelings of insignificance, remember that in God's eyes you are precious. Let the words of Graham Kendrick's simple yet profound song soak into your being:
I’m special because God has loved me,
For he gave the best thing that he had to save me;
His own Son Jesus, crucified to take the blame
For all the bad things I have done.
Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord,
For loving me so much.
I know I don’t deserve anything.
Help me feel your love right now,
To know deep in my heart
That I’m your special friend.
Or watch it here.
Never believe the lie of insignificance!
I spent last week in my favourite place: Scarborough. I guess that my love of the town goes back to childhood family holidays. For some years Sue and I have owned a little flat in Scarborough, which has been a great blessing as a bolt-hole for us to use when opportunities arise. Being currently on sabbatical, I decided that a week on my own in Scarborough would give me a great opportunity for reading, prayer, walking and reflecting.
When I was planning my sabbatical I decided that I would like to do some deeper thinking about a book written by Bill Johnson called 'Hosting the Presence.' In the book Bill Johnson examines what it means for the Christian to host the very presence of God. What I really wanted to grapple with is the question of how we can live our lives in a moment-by-moment awareness of the Holy Spirit (as Jesus himself did).
As I was pondering this question one day last week, into my mind came the image which can often be seen during a tennis tournament: that of a tennis player on court in the middle of a match looking to his/her coach for inspiration. When Andy Murray won Wimbledon last year he gave a great deal of credit to his coach, Ivan Lendl.
Although this is an illustration which can't be taken too far, and has a number of flaws, it seems to me that it does give a picture of how we can seek to live our lives with greater awareness of the Holy Spirit. There are times in life when we can find ourselves becoming so bogged down by busyness, pressures and activity that we take our eyes completely from God. I believe that it is so important that as much as possible we look to him, whatever is going on around us; surely that will help us to keep things in their true perspective (think, for example, of the story of Peter in the storm).
Some years ago I read a book called 'Grace Outpouring' which described the beginnings of a wonderful move of God at Ffald-y-Brenin, a remote Christian House of Prayer and Retreat Centre in South West Wales. I found the book to be so inspiring, and ever since then I have longed for the opportunity to visit Ffald-y-Brenin. Thank God, the opportunity has now arisen and this week Sue and I will be spending some time there. I am excited by the prospect of being in this special place and of deepening my understanding and experience of 'hosting God's presence.' I know that I am very much a learner but I am eager to develop. How wonderful it is to realise that the God who created all things desires to enter into a relationship with each one of us!
I have been thinking a lot about the subject of 'time' recently. Undoubtedly time is a most precious commodity, and how easy it can be to waste it! If you want to understand the things which are priorities in a person's life, a good way is to examine how they use their time.
I am now entering the second month of my three month sabbatical. Most of the first month was taken up with a wonderful trip to visit family in New Zealand, spending a few days in Singapore on the way. Sue and I have memories which will stay with us for a lifetime. Since arriving back we have been caching up with our family here in the UK, including attending my sister Mary's 70th birthday meal and spending time with our 3 wonderful grandchildren. We have been reminded how precious it is to be part of a loving family.
One event which brought with it very mixed emotions was attending a Thanksgiving Service for the life of a man called Gilbert Wall. Gilbert was a much loved and respected member of one of the churches of which I was formerly minister in Doncaster. I felt very privileged to be able to take part in the Service. Gilbert was a man of deep Christian faith. One of the many strengths of his character was that he was always willing to give time to anyone he met, whether that person was someone in high office or was a person begging in the street. It seems to me that giving another person some of our time is one of the most valuable things we can give.
When we were in New Zealand, my nephew Michael recommended a film he had seen, called 'About Time.' The film features a young man, Tim, who at the age of 21 discovers that he can travel back in time along his own timeline and change what has taken place. It just so happened that this film was one of the options available to watch on our Singapore Airlines flight back to the UK, and so I took the opportunity to watch it. It raises some fascinating issues about how we might want to go back and change certain events, and also about the whole matter of our use of time. Ultimately it leaves the challenge of how we can best use and appreciate whatever time we are given.
When I was planning my sabbatical I decided to focus particularly on my relationship with God. The gospels reveal that Jesus made his relationship with God the Father his absolute priority. He often went off to quiet places to pray and be alone with God. It is clear that if we want to grow in any relationship we have to devote time to it. If I want my relationship with God to deepen I need to spend some quality time alone with him. Tomorrow I head off to Scarborough for a week to do just that: to have some focussed "God time".
What I really want to understand more, however, is how to live in that closeness of relationship with God not just when I devote time to be alone with him, but when I am living my everyday life. In other words, when I am in the busyness of day-to-day life, how can I maintain that sense and awareness of God's presence, and an ability to hear him speak even in the hustle and bustle of life? I have thoroughly enjoyed and benefited from the first month of my sabbatical, but I also look forward with great anticipation to what lies ahead.
