On friendship and Claudio

I recently became aware of a wonderful resource called Pray As You Go (PAYG).  It is available both through the internet and via an App (I have it on my mobile phone).  Basically, PAYG provides a short daily devotional, which normally includes music, scripture, and thoughts for reflection.  I have got into the habit of listening to it first thing in a morning, and find it to be a great way to start the day.

One day fairly recently the PAYG reading was from the book of Ecclesiasticus (not to be confused with the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes).  The book of Ecclesiasticus isn’t actually in the Bible, it comes from the period between the Old and New Testaments.  I found the passage used, which came from the sixth chapter of the book, very thought-provoking.  It deals with the subject of friendship:

Pleasant speech multiplies friends,
    and gracious lips, friendly greetings.
Let those who are friendly to you be many,
    but one in a thousand your confidant.
When you gain friends, gain them through testing,
    and do not be quick to trust them.
For there are friends when it suits them,
    but they will not be around in time of trouble.
Another is a friend who turns into an enemy,
    and tells of the quarrel to your disgrace.
Others are friends, table companions,
    but they cannot be found in time of affliction.
When things go well, they are your other self,
    and lord it over your servants.
If disaster comes upon you, they turn against you
    and hide themselves.
Stay away from your enemies,
    and be on guard with your friends.
Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter;
    whoever finds one finds a treasure.
Faithful friends are beyond price,
    no amount can balance their worth.
Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
    those who fear God will find them.
Those who fear the Lord enjoy stable friendship,
    for as they are, so will their neighbours be.

This is a great reminder both of how precious true friends are (‘Faithful friends are beyond price’), but also of the sad truth that some so-called friends may not be there for us when we really need them (‘there are friends when it suits them, but they will not be around in time of trouble’.)

One of the challenges which this passage throws up is to ask myself whether I always act like a true friend to others in their times of need.  As I was pondering the passage, I reflected on the recent goings-on at my local football team, Leicester City.  There can be few people, even those who are not football fans, who have not heard about last season’s fairy-tale happenings.  Leicester City, against odds of 5000/1, managed to become Premier League champions.  The players were stars, but for many, the person who really stood out was manager Claudio Ranieri.  His charm, grace, humility and sense of fun won everyone over.  He became the toast of Leicester!

This season, however, has been a very different story.  The club have really struggled in the Premier League, to such an extent that Ranieri’s job seemed in doubt.  At the beginning of February, the club’s owners issued a statement, saying, "In light of recent speculation, Leicester City Football Club would like to make absolutely clear its unwavering support for its first-team manager Claudio Ranieri.  The entire club is and will remain united behind its manager and behind its players, collectively and firmly focused on the challenges ahead" (my emphases).  Well that seemed clear enough, didn’t it?

Yet less than three weeks after this statement of absolute support and commitment, Ranieri was sacked, to the shock of many in football.  All of which goes to show how much truth is contained in the passage from Ecclesiasticus.

If you find a true friend, treasure them and hang on to them.  Try your best to be a true friend.  And God bless you, Claudio, thanks for everything!

What do you want from life?

Three little stories combine in my thoughts this week.

The first is an apparently true story of a teenage girl who was at home one evening, doing her homework.  The girl had enlisted her dad to help her, and as they were focusing on a particular problem the girl received a rather unexpected text message from her mum, which read, “What do you want from life?”

 

Both the girl and her dad were rather taken aback by the question, and they spent some time thinking about how they might answer.  Ideas such as wealth, fulfilment, fame, love etc. came to mind.  After some time, they were interrupted by a further text message from the girl’s mother explaining that the phone’s predictive text had automatically corrected the word “Lidl”!

I’m sure that the whole family had a good laugh about the incident, but the question “What do you want from life?” is a profound one, and perhaps one which we could all do to consider.  It’s easy to drift along in life without making any attempt to focus on what is really important.  For some, the answer they would give would be to do with wealth and possessions.  The second story reminds us that money isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Janine Park was the youngest ever winner of the Euromillions Lottery jackpot, winning £1m at the age of just 17.  I’m sure that many would envy her good fortune.  But Janine herself tells a very different story: “I thought it would make [life] ten times better but it’s made it ten times worse. I wish I had no money most days. I say to myself, ‘My life would be so much easier if I hadn’t won’ … “People look at me and think, ‘I wish I had her lifestyle, I wish I had her money.’ But they don’t realise the extent of my stress. I have material things but apart from that my life is empty. What is my purpose in life?”  There’s that question again, in a slightly different form.

The third part of the ‘jigsaw’ came through preparing for a recent school assembly.  The school’s theme for the week was Respect, and I’d been asked to speak on that subject.  I began by looking at the use of the word respect in the Bible, and one verse in particular seems appropriate to this blog.  It comes from the book of Proverbs (11.16), ‘A kind-hearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.’  I noted particularly the word ‘only’.  In other words, wealth and possessions are no big deal; as far as the Bible is concerned they’re certainly not something to make as your life’s goal; there are many other things which are far more precious.

Many years ago, I was first captivated by Jesus’ words, ‘I have come that you might have life, and have it to the full’ (John 10.10).  In Jesus is true life, and it’s eternal.  “What do you want from life?”  For me, the answer is an ever-closer relationship with Jesus, and to live my life in partnership with him.  So how would you answer the question?

What's your taste?

Last Saturday, Sue and I attended an event called a "Re-imagine Church Forum."  People from around the district gathered together to think about how we do church.  The traditional ways of doing church, perhaps particularly in respect of Sunday services, are from a former generation.  The sands of time have shifted dramatically, even in my lifetime (and, of course, I'm still relatively young!!)   Many who regularly attend church are content with the way we traditionally do church, because it's what they've become used to.  But the truth is that our traditional way of doing church is rarely what connects easily with the majority of people in the second decade of the 21st century.  So how do we need to adapt (not the message, but the way we communicate it)?  That was the theme of the Forum.  It was a fascinating day, and good to meet with others who are wrestling with this very same question.

Although I was looking forward to the day, and recognised the importance of the subject under discussion, I must admit that one of the personal attractions for me was the offer of a free lunch!  The folk from Daventry Methodist Church did a great job in providing us with an excellent buffet lunch.  As I was sitting after lunch, talking with others on my table, I noticed that a few items of food remained after everyone had taken what they wanted.  One of the ladies from the church invited anyone who wanted to, to help themselves.  I wandered over and noticed that there was a coconut and apricot slice still available.  It looked extremely tempting, but it presented me with something of a dilemma.

The problem was that although I really like coconut, I can't stand apricot.  Which would win in the battle of the tastes?  Should I risk being disappointed?  In the end my stomach won the battle with my brain, and I took the slice back to the table, looking forward to the taste of coconut.  What a disastrous error of judgement; the horrible (to me) taste of apricot totally drowned out the coconut!  Although Sue likes apricot and dislikes coconut (they do say opposites attract), she refused my offer of giving the remainder of the slice to her.  I lived to regret my choice.

I told the story of the coconut and apricot slice during my sermon last Sunday.  We were looking at a passage where Paul writes about the new life we live in Christ.  In other words, when we commit our lives to following Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins a work in us to mould and shape is into the image of Christ.  Paul uses the illustration of taking off the old clothes (which belonged to the former way of life), and putting on the new clothes, befitting a follower of Jesus.  He gives some examples, 'Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.'

Of course it's not always easy to wear 'the right clothes' and sometimes we slip into old habits.  Paul himself writes elsewhere about this struggle in his own life.  I think that after last Saturday's experience, I might use the illustration not of the right and wrong clothes, but of apricot and coconut tastes.  My prayer is that I in my daily life I might be much more coconut than apricot, but of course that won't be a useful illustration for some.  I know that God's desire for all who follow Christ is that as we grow and mature in the Christian life we will became more like Jesus.  I know I've a long way to go, but I hope that the coconut wins!

Despair will give way to joy

One of the ‘promises’ of Jesus which I’ve never seen on a Christian’s lapel badge or wall poster is where he stated to his disciples, ‘In this world you will have trouble’ (John 16.33).  In a speech towards the end of 1992, the Queen announced that the year had been “annus horribilis”, a Latin phrase meaning “horrible year.”  I have to say that the month of January 2017 was for me a fairly “mense horribilis” (horrible month).  There were some bright spots along the way, but on the whole it was tough.

My struggles started just before Christmas, with the onset of a chest infection which really drained my energy and enthusiasm.  Our physical state can often influence how we are feeling emotionally and spiritually.  As January progressed, my energy levels slowly returned, but in lots of ways I didn’t feel in a good place emotionally or, to some extent, spiritually.

I’ve tried, over the years, never to pretend that just because I am a church leader everything is always hunky-dory.   Like every human being, there are times when life seems hard.  There may be contributing factors, but sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint the exact causes.  The apostle Paul made the point in one of his letters that followers of Jesus are involved in a spiritual battle, and battles can be a struggle!

Whatever the reasons, January was a tough month for me.  I did a lot of praying, asking God for strength in this period of weakness.  Part of the answer was two books which came my way during the month.  This first was a book by Brian Houston, ‘Live Love Lead’.  The book is subtitled, ‘Your best is yet to come.’  Among other issues, Houston addresses those times what life is hard, and the temptation to give up is faced.  He writes out of his own experience as a church leader, and I found the book to be a real encouragement.  There is so much in the book which I could quote, but here are a couple of small sections:

‘If we stop just because we are in pain and can’t imagine how to continue, then we’ll miss out on what God wants to do in our lives … I encourage you – no matter how difficult the path gets, how distant the vision, how uncomfortable the stretch – to choose calling over comfort.’

Whenever I’ve gone through dark times over the years, the knowledge that I have been called by God to this ministry has been one of the key things which has kept me going.  Though Jesus said we would face tough times, he also promised that he would walk with us always.  I would strongly recommend Houston’s book to anyone in Christian leadership.

The other book which came my way was a little book by Dave and Jenny Gilpin.  I knew Dave as a fellow church leader during my time in Sheffield.  The book is called ‘Heaven Sent’ and I really believe it was (God can respond to our prayers and speak to us in many different ways!)  The book contains short sayings and some Bible verses which were just what I needed to hear.  This is another book which I would strongly recommend as a real encouragement that God has a wonderful plan and purpose for our lives.

The other book which has also been a great encouragement to me is the Bible itself.  There are lots of characters in the Bible who at times found life to be a struggle.  The Bible doesn’t shy away from the realities of life.  One passage which spoke to me came from the Psalms:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him. Psalm 40.1-3

As my brother, Phil commented, the “slimy pits” are no fun at all.  But the confident hope of this Psalm is that God will in due course lift us out and set our feet on solid ground again.  As another Psalm states, ‘Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning’ (Psalm 30.5).

Which brings me to an event which happened right at the end of the month which has helped enormously in lifting my spirits.  I began this blog by quoting Jesus ‘promise’ that we would face hard times.  Looking at the context, Jesus is trying to encourage the disciples to understand that the hard times won’t last forever.  Despair will give way to joy.  He uses the illustration of childbirth: ‘A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world’ (John 16.21).  On 31 January, our daughter Steph gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Esther Grace.  After such a difficult month, I found myself weeping tears of joy at the news, and I look forward to meeting Esther personally tomorrow.  What a blessing to lift the spirits!

Not an easy month, but through it I’ve grown closer to God, and my commitment to serving him has deepened.  The best is yet to be!