All those lonely people...

When Sue and I moved down to Leicester, one of the implications of the move was that we would have to find suitable accommodation for Sue's elderly mother.  While we lived in Doncaster, we could just about manage to offer Sue's mum, who lived near Hull, the support which she needed, even though Sue's regular trips to take her mum to various hospital appointments was rather draining at times.  We knew that once we moved down to Leicester, she would be moving with us.

Initially we had her name down for sheltered accommodation, but it became obvious that her health and physical condition would not be good enough to allow her to manage even sheltered accommodation.  Initially, therefore, we made our dining room into a bed-sit, and Sue's mum lived with us for a few weeks.  She made it clear that she wanted us to find a suitable care home.  After visiting a few, we finally found one fairly near our home which seemed suitable, and Sue's mum moved in last week for a trial period.  It's early days, but we are hoping and praying that she will soon feel settled and content.

Last Saturday Sue and I called in to see mum in her new home, and spent part of the afternoon with her.  As tea time approached, we went into the large lounge which adjoins the dining area.  Mum found an empty seat, and we sat nearby.  I noticed a gentleman sitting near mum, and we soon got into conversation.  He introduced himself as John*, and I told him that he reminded me of my uncle of the same name.  John informed me that during his working life he had been a milkman; it was clear from what he said that he had enjoyed his work (apart from the very early starts when the weather was cold and wet!)

John was born and brought up in Leicester.  He has two children, one who lives in the north of the country, the other who lives in the south.  One of his children had invited John to live with him, but John preferred to stay in his home city of Leicester, the place he had known all his life.  He had only recently moved into the home, and was still in the process of coming to terms with the move.  His eyesight isn't good, and it is clear that he is having a bit of a struggle adjusting to the new was of living.   It seemed that John is quite lonely.  I tried to imagine how I would cope in his situation.

I thoroughly enjoyed my brief chat with John, he seemed a lovely man.  I think that he appreciated the time we spent together, and we shook hands as I left.  I hope that I will have opportunity to chat with him again.  As I left the care home, I thought about the many other men and women who live there.  Some will have regular visitors, but not all.  I'm sure that there will be many lonely people in care homes up and down the country; many others who live on their own who rarely have a meaningful conversation.  To feel isolated and alone must be an awful experience.  As the Beatles asked all those years ago, 

"All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"

The Psalmist knew about loneliness:
 

'Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.'

Psalm 25:16

God knows and loves every lonely person.  But he calls us to notice, too.  We all know lonely people, and it doesn't cost much to give up a little of our time to make a difference.  We may not be able to offer friendship and time to all lonely people, but perhaps we can offer it to a few; for them, it could mean the world.

*John is not his real name, but I thought it best not to use his real name; God knows.

What do we achieve in life?

It will soon be 3 months since Sue and I made the journey down the M1 from Doncaster to begin our new life in Leicester.  Although the process of leaving Doncaster was a hard one (we had been there 12 years, and had made some very good friends), we were both convinced that the move to Leicester was part of God’s plan for our lives.  I shouldn’t have been surprised, therefore, at how quickly we felt at home in our new surroundings.  We are both convinced that we are in the right place, and feel truly blessed to be where we are.

That doesn’t mean, of course, that there aren’t aspects of Doncaster life which we miss very much; most of all the people we had come to know and love.  One of the many blessings of my time in Doncaster was to be part of the weekly church leaders’ prayer group.  At 7am each Wednesday morning, a group of church leaders met together to pray for each other and for our town (and still do!)  Being part of that group was an enormous blessing to me over the years, and I miss our Wednesday mornings together.

Last Saturday, Sue and I travelled up to Doncaster to attend a service of celebration and thanksgiving to mark the retirement of one of my former colleagues, and very good friend, Peter Amos.  Peter has just retired as pastor of Bentley Baptist Church in Doncaster.  It was a great privilege to be at the celebration service and to share with many others who had come to give thanks for Peter’s ministry (and that of his wife, Jean).  I found it a very moving and inspiring occasion; several people gave a personal tribute to the profound impact which Peter’s life and ministry had had on them.  I am sure that the vast majority of those people present (myself included) were there because they wanted to give thanks to God for Peter’s ministry.  Many people’s lives have been impacted by God through Peter.

As I have been reflecting on this wonderful occasion, and on the impact for good that one person’s life can have on others, I am reminded of the challenge which faces us all: what impact does my life have, for good or otherwise?  My mind goes back to a conversation which I had some time ago during a funeral visit.  I was visiting a person who had recently been bereaved, in order to make plans for the forthcoming funeral service for his relative.  In a reflective moment, the person I was visiting asked, “What do we achieve in life?  Aren’t we just like grains of sand on the seashore?”  I think that it was intended as a rhetorical question, but it certainly made me think!

As John Donne famously wrote,

“No man is an island,

entire of itself.
each is a piece of the continent,

a part of the main.”

We do not live our lives in isolation from the rest of humanity.  Whether we like or not, each human life affects and impacts many others, either for good or otherwise.  With God’s help, each one of us can make a real and positive difference in the lives of others.  God has blessed me in so many ways, and my prayer is that I can be a blessing to others. 

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Every one unique

There has been much discussion in recent years about the involvement of British troops in Afghanistan, especially as the casualty numbers continue to mount.  I have no doubt that there will be relatives of some of the currently active service personnel who are asking themselves questions like, "Is it worth it?"  and "Why are our troops there?"  There do appear to have been some positives arising from our presence in the country.  I was watching a news report this morning which highlighted the advances in education for girls in Afghanistan in recent years.  Under the Taliban, eduction for girls was banned; now many girls have access to at least some eduction.  The news report featured the Afghanistan minister for eduction, Farook Wardak.  When his face appeared on the TV screen I was very surprised at how much he looked like Dave Lee Travis!  (Can you spot the difference?)

The resemblance is rather uncanny!  Long lost brothers, perhaps?

Over the years I have known a few pairs of identical twins, and some have been incredibly difficult to tell apart.  Yet every human being is a unique creation of God; no two people are exactly the same in every way, even if they look very similar on the outside.  And the Bible tells us that not only is every person God's unique creation, but that God loves each and every human being!

Often people are described in terms of the various groups with which we identify them: the young, the elderly, the disabled, the asylum seekers, the homeless, the foreigners,  the celebrities etc.  When we lump people together like that we can mask their individuality and uniqueness.

One of the most noticeable aspects of Jesus' ministry is how he treated people as individuals.  In the midst of a large crowd he heard the cry of blind beggar Bartimaeus, called him to him and restored his sight; in the middle of another large crowd he spotted tax collector Zacchaeus up a tree; not only did he stop and enter into a conversation with Zacchaeus, he left the crowd behind and went to Zacchaeus' house to spend time with him.  The lives of Bartimaeus and Zacchaeus, and countless other individuals, were completed changed though meeting Jesus.

Jesus is still in the business of changing lives today.  God's love is for every human being, and that includes me and you!

 

What is hidden will be disclosed

I was probably not alone at being shocked by reading of the allegations which have recently been made public concerning the late Jimmy Saville.  Jimmy Saville was a larger-than-life character, who appeared to be hugely popular both from his radio and TV work and from his long-term support of several charities.  Although it has often been said that in some ways he was a rather private person, his public persona led him to becoming amongst the best known and loved celebrities in the country.

When Jimmy Saville died late last year at the age of 84, Leeds Cathedral was crowded by people who wanted to say goodbye, and many well-known faces were amongst the mourners. Even Prince Charles was one of those who had paid tribute to Saville following news of his death.  And so Jimmy Saville was laid to rest in beloved Scarborough, apparently with his coffin at a 45 degree angle so that he could view the sea!   He appeared to have died with a very positive reputation amongst the British public, a much cherished face had passed from our lives.

But now things have changed.  An ITV documentary has brought to light serious allegations about Saville's conduct over a number of years.  I am not in a position to pass judgement on the matter.  It seems apparent, however, that a number of people have come forward with allegations.  Not only that, but from what is emerging it is also clear that some people have been aware of strong rumours (to say the least) of Saville's behaviour for many years, and yet they chose, for whatever reason, not to make the allegations public.  There appears to have been a drive to keep the issue under wraps.

To a very large extent the allegations were hidden from the public; until now, that is.  Some have questioned whether pursuing the matter will achieve anything, given the fact that even if the allegations are true, Jimmy Saville can never be brought to account.  Perhaps a more pressing questions is how and why these matters were not brought out into the open long before now.

People have been quick to turn their anger at Jimmy Saville.  A plaque in his memory has been defaced.  The truth is, of course, that we all have things which we hope will remain hidden; things we have said or done which we hope will never be brought into the open.  It is perhaps a little ironic that in my Bible reading this week I came across some words of Jesus recorded in Mark's gospel,  'everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light.' (Mark 4:22).

One day each one of us will have to stand before the judgement seat of God, when all will be revealed.  Even Jimmy Saville can't escape that reality.