The tough choice to forgive

In preparing for last week's Remembrance Sunday services, I was struck again by the enormous cost of war in terms of human casualties.  WWI saw around 10m military and 7m civilian deaths, not to mention countless other casualties through injury, bereavement, loss of homes etc.  If that wasn't bad enough, during the Second World War some 60m people lost their lives, which was around 2.5% of the world's population at the time - a number almost beyond comprehension.  Behind those bare statistics lay the stories of countless individuals whose lives were affected in so many ways.  When an event so horrific happens, one of the issues which inevitably surfaces is the question of forgiveness.  How can such evil be forgiven?

I suppose that the thorny issue of forgiveness has been one with which human beings have long had to wrestle.  I was touched by reading recently an article about a lady called Maureen Greaves.  On Christmas Eve last year, Maureen's husband Alan was brutally attacked on his way to midnight mass at his local church in Sheffield.  He subsequently died from his injuries; it transpired that he was chosen at random by his attackers.  Naturally, Maureen and her family were left devastated by their loss.

As a Church Army evangelist, Maureen was familiar with the call of Jesus to live the life of forgiveness.  But how could she forgive the men who had so senselessly and mercilessly taken her soul mate from her?  In her own words, "What am I going to do with the people who have murdered him?  I suddenly knew that these men were going to be a big issue."

Despite the difficulty of her situation, Maureen knew that both Alan and God would want her to choose forgiveness.  This is what she prayed: "Please take from me the burden of carrying the men that have murdered Alan.  Help me to truly and fully forgive them and give me grace to continue, all my life, in that position of forgiveness.  Take any hatred that may creep in and may I be able to show this forgiveness and grace to others."  The decision to forgive must have been a struggle, and Maureen admits to having to return regularly to that prayer.

Of course, to forgive does not mean that we do not seek justice, and it doesn't mean that we will necessarily forget.  Yet, the reality is that forgiveness can still be hard.  I hope and pray that if I were in a situation similar to that of Maureen Greaves I would respond in the same way.  In truth, we always have a choice: either to forgive, or to hold onto bitterness and resentment.  Ultimately the choice to forgive is always the best choice, for as Nelson Mandela, has said:  “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”