25 Not Out

1 September 1990 was a very significant day in my life.  It was the day on which I officially began my ‘new life’ as a Methodist Minister.  Having spent 3 years at Ministerial Training College in Bristol, I found myself “in at the deep end”.  One of the realities I had to face was that although I generally enjoyed life at College, much of what I had been taught didn’t seem all that useful in terms of preparing me for the practical realities of church leadership!

I vividly remember going in to my study on that first morning, sitting at my desk, and wondering, “Now what do I do?”  I suppose that I kind of expected that the phone would start ringing with people urgently in need of my services!  Looking back on that time, I can see how relatively unprepared I was for all that ministry involved.  In one of the first ladies’ meetings I took, I encouraged the ladies to suggest their ideas of the qualities of the 'perfect minister.'  After I had written all their suggestions on a flipchart, I confessed that there were only two qualities from the list which I possessed (“young” and “handsome”, and I can’t even lay claim to those these days!)

It is hard to believe that today is the 25^th anniversary of that first day back in 1990.  I can’t help but reflect on those years.  So many times I have felt completely out of my depth, and have known that in my own strength I could not cope with the demands of ministry life.  There have been a few times, through the years, when the going has been really tough and I have felt like giving up.

The one thing that has kept me going in those very hard times has been the knowledge that God has called me to the life of a Methodist Minister.  And when God calls us, he equips us.  The Apostle Paul writes, “By God's grace and mighty power, I have been given the privilege of serving him” (Ephesians 3:7).  I know that it is only by God’s grace and power, and through the love, support and prayers of family and friends, that I have kept going through those 25 years.

As I look back over the past quarter of a century, although I do remember some very difficult times, and acknowledge the many mistakes I have made along the way, my overwhelming feeling is of tremendous gratitude for the privilege of being called to church leadership.  I have met some truly wonderful and amazing people, who have blessed me beyond measure.  I have had the tremendous privilege of sharing with people in times both of great joy and great sadness.

Yes, there have been a few times during the years when I have thought back to my earlier life as an accountant, and the grass has appeared much greener on that side!  I have sometimes become frustrated with elements of being part of Church, and working with some people who don’t want to change.  But I know that being a Methodist Minister has been and is an enormous blessing and privilege.  As far as I am concerned there isn’t anything else I would rather be doing, not least because I know that I am where God wants me to be.

I give thanks to God for the past 25 years, and look forward to all that lies ahead.

THIS, this is the God we adore,
Our faithful, unchangeable Friend;
Whose love is as great as his power,
And neither knows measure nor end.

'Tis Jesus, the First and the Last,
Whose Spirit shall guide us safe home;
We'll praise him for all that is past,
And trust him for all that's to come.