Unanswered question

One night last week I had a dream that my brother Phil was in the UK.  Although (in the dream) he was not in good health, I was pleased to be able to spend some time with him.  When it came time for him to leave the UK to head back to New Zealand where he lived, my emotions round the understanding that it would probably be the last time I saw him were hard to deal with.  Then I woke up, with the dream still vivid in my memory, and realised that my dream was a replay of a reality from back in early 2017, when Phil had last been in the UK.  We knew then that Phil was very unwell; he died from cancer a few months later.

Even though what I had just gone through was only a dream, many of the former emotions of sadness and loss resurfaced.  I have to admit that during the following day I felt very low; perhaps just as well that it was my day off.  It's rather strange how differing events and experiences can trigger a whole series of emotions and feelings, sometimes totally out of the blue.

At the beginning of the month Sue and I, together with my sister Jenny and brother-in-law David, visited Newark.  One of the reasons for doing so was that we wanted to spend some time giving thanks for Phil's life and praying for his family in New Zealand, on what was the first anniversary of his death.  We went into the Parish Church in Newark (well worth a visit) and lit a candle as we prayed.  The candle was one given me by a friend not long after Phil died.  It is in a small glass jar with the letter "P" printed on one side.

As we prayed, and reflected in the silence, the candle became a focal point.  As I stared at the candle I happened to notice that the wick looked as if it was in the shape of a question mark.  I felt that was significant, as there were unanswered questions as we thought of Phil's death.

Phil was the youngest member of our family of 6 children.  He and his wife Monika were doing a great job in New Zealand through Church Army.  Phil had a great passion for reaching the nation with the love of Jesus.  The testimonies which flooded in after his death gave eloquent testimony to the enormous positive influence Phil had had on so many people.  He had a great vision for the future.  All over the world people were praying for his healing.  Though some physical healing did come, ultimately he died in his mid 50s.  A life cut short?  'Why did God allow it to happen?' is a question which many will have asked.  There seems no logical answer.

So we are left with a choice.  Do we rail against God and blame him for making a ghastly mistake?  Or do we simply leave the question unanswered and trust that God knows best?  I have chosen the latter.  I don't suppose we will ever get a complete answer to some of the questions on our hearts and minds, but we need to take heed of God's words through the prophet Isaiah:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.      Isaiah 55.8&9.

Lord God, though I don't understand everything that happens, I choose to put my trust in you.  Though our loss still hurts greatly, I thank you that you draw close to comfort the sorrowful.  Thank you that all those who trust in your Son have the assurance of life eternal in your presence.

Eye of the beholder

I was reminiscing with some friends recently about the time (long ago) when TV viewing was restricted to a choice between BBC and ITV.  Yes, that memory does age me, but it seems almost incredible that although there are a proliferation of TV channels and other viewing platforms these days, the number of programmes actually worth watching seems to have risen very little!  Of course, we are all different, with varying preferences.

One programme which do enjoy watching is BBC’s Fake or Fortune, in which Fiona Bruce and Philip Mould investigate remarkable stories beneath the surface of paintings, sometimes uncovering previously hidden masterpieces.   In one recent programme the team investigated whether a small watercolour sketch could be by the British 20th-century sculptor Henry Moore.  In case you haven’t watched the programme, I won’t reveal the outcome.

Works by Henry Moore appear all over the world.  One of the places which has a number of his works is Yorkshire Sculpture Park, in West Bretton, Yorkshire.  I have a loose family connection with the place, as my dad worked there as a gardener long before the Yorkshire Sculpture Park was opened.   It is a beautiful setting, and part of me regrets that my family moved from the area before I was born!

I must admit that I am not a big fan of Moore’s works generally; they tend to be a bit abstract for me (perhaps I am a bit of a Philistine in that respect?)  However, Moore has a great many admirers, and his works can sell for a great deal of money.  One of his sculptures sold for £1.8m.

My initial reaction when I heard that news was to wonder why on earth someone would be willing to pay such a price for a rather weird (in my eyes) work of art?  Even if I had that kind of money, there is no way I would spend it on a Henry Moore work.  But someone obviously thought the sculpture to be worth it.

Yes, I do find it hard to understand why someone would pay such an amount for the sculpture.  But something far more amazing and far more wonderful is a well-known verse in the Bible, John’s gospel chapter 3 verse 16, which says, ‘God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.’  God values every human being so much that he was willing to give his own Son for us.  How can God value us, with all our human frailties and sinfulness, that much?  There is only one answer: love.  Truly incredible.