Reflections on a wonderful day

It is a great feeling when something which you have been planning for and working towards for many months goes off well. Around 8 months ago my daughter, Steph, became engaged to be married. For much of the last 8 months the thoughts of Steph & Matt (her fiancé), and those of their families and friends, have been focussed on preparations for the big day. It used to be the case that the bride's parents did the majority of the arranging. These days, the couple themselves play a large part (for which I am very thankful!)

Of course the temptation is to become anxious about what might go wrong - there are so many different elements which go into the day. The weather forecast for the day itself seem to be constantly changing as it drew near. It turned out to be a lovely warm, dry day, with lots of sunny intervals, and I am sure that some stunning photographs will have been taken at the beautiful reception venue.

The wedding day itself was absolutely wonderful – all our hope and prayers were fulfilled. The church service was excellently led by a friend of the family, Garry Dawson-Jones. I was so pleased that Steph and I had decided that my role was to be father-of-the bride, and not officiating minister, not least because I spent much of the service in tears! Matt and Steph make a fantastic couple, and they are clearly very much in love. It was a real privilege to share in this very special day.

The only real hiccup was that the wedding car went to the wrong address. We had images of having to walk to church! We eventually managed to contact the hire company, but it became clear that we were going to be quite late at church. One of our friends, who was attending the wedding, agreed to come and pick up the bridesmaids, which he duly did. By this time the wedding car had arrived, so Steph and I set off shortly after. My only slight disappointment with the day was that the mess-up with the car mean that I had less time alone with Steph than would normally have been the case. I think that father and daughter time can be very precious. At least we had the car journey together!

Reflecting on the day, I feel tremendously blessed to be part of such a great family and have such loving, supportive friends. I am also so blessed by having three wonderful children, and now two equally wonderful children-in-law. All I can do is thank God that he has been so gracious to me. I pray that Steph and Matt will continue to experience God's blessing on their married lives together. In the meantime we remain here in the dull, wet UK, as they fly off to sunny places!

Roots and wings

28 years and two months ago our second daughter, Stephanie Rachel, came bouncing into the world. It's hard to believe that in just a few days' time she will become Steph Wilkinson. Where have all the years gone? It hardly seems long since she was a cute, curly-haired toddler! Come to think of it, where have all the curls gone?

I remember hearing once that parenthood is about giving children two things: firstly roots, and secondly, wings. Giving them roots is about providing children with a secure family setting in which they can be nurtured, nourished, and helped to grow and develop: providing a firm foundation, particularly for their early years. Giving children wings is a recognition that there will come a time when they will want to fly the nest. Hard as it may sometimes be, parents need to be willing to set their children free to pursue new interests and develop new commitments.

I have been looking again at what Jesus said about marriage. He stated that marriage was part of God's original plan for human life: "in the beginning God made a man and a woman. That's why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. He becomes like one person with his wife. Then they are no longer two people, but one. And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together." (Mark 10v6-9). Parents have to recognise that once their children are married, their first loyalty and commitment is to their husband/wife, rather than to their parents & siblings!

In a sense, the role of a parent is not unlike the way God relates to us. As we read the creation account in the book of Genesis, we see a God who cares for, nurtures and protects. But God makes the brave decision to give man and woman free will. Ultimately they chose to disobey God and had to face the consequences. We see all around the world today the consequences of men and women choosing their own way rather than God's way. And yet the Bible speaks of the amazing love of God reaching out to sinful people, calling them back to him.

Wings can be used to fly away from parents, but they can also be used to fly back again. Steph may be flying our nest, but I'm sure she'll be back again from time to time! Anyway, I've got a speech to write....

Lesson in a tin can

I make the journey into Doncaster town centre several times each week. I try whenever possible to walk into town rather than use the car. My normal route takes me across Town Fields, a 94 acre green site not far from the town centre. Generally speaking, it is a pleasant experience walking across Town Fields. One thing which I almost always have to face, however, is finding empty drink cans scattered around. On some occasions, by the time I reach the far side of Town Fields I am loaded down with cans I have collected on the way!

Apart from the fact that litter is one of my pet hates, I am concerned that when the grass is cut, any cans lying around are likely to get mangled up in the cutters, with the result that serrated cans are left lying around which children (or adults) could well cut themselves on. My journey across Town Fields one day this week happened to be the day when the grass was being cut. As I took my normal route across the newly cut grass, I came across several bits of can which had been cut up by the grass cutter, leaving behind dangerous jagged pieces of metal. I collected any I came across, but no doubt others were left behind.

There are plenty of bins around Town Fields, but for whatever reason many people seem to ignore them and cast their cans away without thinking of the consequences. Perhaps it is simply an illustration of the lack of concern for other people which sometimes seems to be a mark of modern society. "Look after yourself first" is a message we often hear. How different from the message of the Bible: 'Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.' (Philippians 2.4)

Are you a ftcw?

One of the blessing of being a church leader in Doncaster is that there are really good relationships between the various Christian denominations in the town and surrounding area. I belong to the local Ministers' Prayer Group, which meets at Christchurch every Wednesday morning from 7am-8am. I feel privileged to be part of a very strong network of fellow church leaders.

One of the ways in which we express our unity as churches is by meeting once each quarter for the City Celebration, when Christians from many Doncaster churches meet together to celebrate God's love. A few months ago, the quest speaker at the City Celebration was a man called Mark Greene. As people arrived at the venue, they were given a little red badge with the letters "ftcw" appearing on the centre of the badge. I am sure that a lot of people struggled to work out what these letters stood for!

I was reminded of the occasion this morning when I was reading from the New Testament the third chapter of Paul's letter to the Colossians, where he writes, "Whatever you say or do should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus" (v17) and "Do your work willingly, as though you were serving the Lord himself, and not just your earthly master" (v23).

Many years ago went for an interview with a lady at what was then The Methodist Missionary Society. I wanted to discuss the possibility of serving with the church overseas. It was a tremendously useful time for me, especially when the lady reminded me that, "You can serve God just as faithfully and effectively in your normal workplace situation as you can overseas".

Somehow in the church we have created the impression that those people who work full time for the church (ministers, missionaries etc) are in a category set apart. In fact, every follower of Jesus is called to be a "full time Christian worker" (ftcw). We all play a number of roles, whether in our family, our workplace, our community, or our church, and God is interested in the whole of our lives. Serving as a minister or missionary is, in one sense, no different from any other area of service. WHATEVER you do, says Paul, do it in the name of Jesus, and remember that it is him you're serving. What a difference it might make if every follower of Jesus saw themselves as a ftcw!