Roots and wings

28 years and two months ago our second daughter, Stephanie Rachel, came bouncing into the world. It's hard to believe that in just a few days' time she will become Steph Wilkinson. Where have all the years gone? It hardly seems long since she was a cute, curly-haired toddler! Come to think of it, where have all the curls gone?

I remember hearing once that parenthood is about giving children two things: firstly roots, and secondly, wings. Giving them roots is about providing children with a secure family setting in which they can be nurtured, nourished, and helped to grow and develop: providing a firm foundation, particularly for their early years. Giving children wings is a recognition that there will come a time when they will want to fly the nest. Hard as it may sometimes be, parents need to be willing to set their children free to pursue new interests and develop new commitments.

I have been looking again at what Jesus said about marriage. He stated that marriage was part of God's original plan for human life: "in the beginning God made a man and a woman. That's why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. He becomes like one person with his wife. Then they are no longer two people, but one. And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together." (Mark 10v6-9). Parents have to recognise that once their children are married, their first loyalty and commitment is to their husband/wife, rather than to their parents & siblings!

In a sense, the role of a parent is not unlike the way God relates to us. As we read the creation account in the book of Genesis, we see a God who cares for, nurtures and protects. But God makes the brave decision to give man and woman free will. Ultimately they chose to disobey God and had to face the consequences. We see all around the world today the consequences of men and women choosing their own way rather than God's way. And yet the Bible speaks of the amazing love of God reaching out to sinful people, calling them back to him.

Wings can be used to fly away from parents, but they can also be used to fly back again. Steph may be flying our nest, but I'm sure she'll be back again from time to time! Anyway, I've got a speech to write....