Don't leave it until it's too late

Earlier today I took the funeral service of my late mother-in-law, Rita.  Later in the week I will be leading an informal service of thanksgiving for Rita in her home church in East Yorkshire, so that her friends there will have the opportunity to give thanks for Rita’s life and to share memories of her.  Rita had only been here in Leicester a few months; the people attending today's service were mainly family members, plus a couple of close family friends and two people from the Care Home where Rita spent the final few months of her life.

Since Rita’s death, Sue has received quite a number of condolences cards.  Some of them spoke very warmly of Rita, and I decided that it was appropriate to read out at today’s service some of the things which people had written about her.  Phrases like “lovely lady”, “helpful and happy”, “always smiling and friendly”, “made us so welcome”, “a good listener” etc. made it clear that she was very well thought of by many people.  As I read the messages on the cards, I wondered whether Rita actually knew how much she was appreciated.

 

This thought was perhaps prompted by a service of thanksgiving which I attended last week.  It was a thanksgiving service for a very popular member of one of our local Methodist churches.  He was a very active and much appreciated man, who died very suddenly.  The church where the service was held was packed, as was an overflow hall.  The gentleman concerned had three sons, and each in turn spoke in a heartfelt and moving way of their memories of their dad.  As one of the sons came towards the end of his speech, he expressed the regret that he never really took the opportunity to tell his dad how much his dad meant to him.  I have been pondering that thought ever since, not least because I could probably say the same about my own dad, who died many years ago.

It is so easy to believe that those people we love or appreciate know how much we love them or appreciate them.  How much better to make sure they know, by telling them!  There are lots of ways we can express love or appreciation: words, flowers, gifts, in written form etc.  Perhaps the most important thing is not the means, but the message itself.  As for me, I want to make it a rule of my life not to be slow to let those people I love know that I love them, and to let all those people I appreciate know what I feel about them.  I don’t want to live with the regret that I left it until it was too late.