In the very early hours of yesterday morning my
mother-in-law, Rita, passed from this earthly life at the age of 87. Although it would probably be wrong to
describe the death of a loved as easy, we cannot be too sad because for some time Rita has expressed her feeling that she had lived her
earthly life and was ready to move on to the next life.
Rita experienced various health issues over recent
years. We had a phone call last Saturday
evening to say that she had been taken by ambulance into the Leicester Royal
Infirmary A&E department. When Sue
and I arrived, it was clear that she was experiencing significant breathing
difficulties. She didn’t particularly
appreciate the treatment which she was given, even though it was for her own
good, and can’t have been the easiest of patients to deal with. However, the nursing staff were amazingly
patient and caring with her; I can’t praise them highly enough. To respond to patients in such a way in a
very busy and pressurised situation speaks volumes for the dedication of the
nursing staff.
After a few hours, Rita was transferred to the Glenfield
Hospital. She had developed a very
severe chest infection and other complications, and it eventually became clear that
she was not going to recover. After
discussions between Sue and the hospital staff, it was decided that the most
appropriate course of action was to place Rita on what is known as the
Liverpool Care Pathway; in other words to keep her as comfortable as possible
as her earthly life drew to a close.
Sue spent much of the next 3 days with her mum, sometimes along
with other family members. It was a
trying and tiring time, but Sue felt that it was right that we do our best to
make sure that Rita had at least one family member with her at all times. Even if I do say so myself, Sue’s devotion to
her mum, not only in recent days but over many years, has been tremendous. As an only child, Sue has born a heavy
responsibility with great love and devotion.
On the whole, the quality of support from the medical staff
has been excellent. There were a few
nurses, however, whose approach left quite a lot to be desired; they seemed
rather disinterested in both patients and families, and were somewhat off-hand
when asked for help. In a difficult
situation like the one we have faced as a family this week, the care and
support (or lack of it) from others can have a huge impact on one’s experience. We were so grateful for those nurses and
other staff who demonstrated a genuine care and concern. As a family we have received tremendous love
and support from our church friends, and we know that many have been upholding
us in prayer; it has meant so much.
Earlier today Sue and went to register Rita’s death. We had to wait for the Registrar in
a rather sparse room with a gloomy poster on the door, “Death Registration”. It seemed such a sad place, and as we sat in
the waiting room I looked at the other people there and wondered about their
circumstances. It reminded me that
people are dying all the time, and there is such a lot of sadness around in
each individual case. As we waited, I
said a prayer for the other people in the room, and asked that God would make
his love and peace known to those who will visit that room.
Rita herself had been a widow for almost 29 years. I thank God that he is a God who comes close
in our times of need and enfolds us with his loving arms. I thank God also for the wonderful promise
that if we put our trust in Jesus Christ, death is not the end but merely a
doorway into a new life in the very presence of God; a life without tears,
sadness or pain. It is in the assurance
of that promise that we can commit Rita into God’s hands.
Rita died peacefully, with her loving daughter by her side, and
now has what she wanted. R.I.P. Rita,
and thank you so much for the gift to the world of your wonderful daughter, who
has blessed me beyond measure by being my wife for these past 35 years. I realise that I probably never truly
measured up to your image of the perfect son-in-law, but I tried!
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