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I was in the sanctuary area of church and had noticed an elderly lady sitting with her head bowed in an attitude of prayer. She had been there for some minutes when I heard a gentle sobbing. It's not always easy to know in those sort of situations if the person concerned would appreciate someone to talk or pray with them, or whether they would prefer to be given the space to offer their own thoughts and prayers to God. Ultimately I decided that I would go and sit next to the lady, and I put my hand gently onto hers as a sign of reassurance.
During our subsequent conversation it transpired that it would have been her late husband's birthday, and she had come into church to sit quietly, to pray, and to reflect on the 40+ years of married life which they had shared together. Although her husband had died many years ago, it was clear that she still desperately misses him. One of the greatest blessings in life is to love and be loved and to enjoy rich and close relationships. At the same time, deep down we all know that no human relationship lasts forever.
In the church wedding service, vows are exchanged between a man and a women "until we are parted by death." When Sue and I committed ourselves to each other back in 1978 we knew then that one day our marriage would be ended by death (in fact I've said to her several times over the years that it would be best if I went first as I feel that she would cope better on her own!) The pain of separation applies not just to married couple but also, for example, to family relationships and close friendships. My dad died over 20 years ago and yet there are times when I still miss him greatly, and I know that my mum does, too. As someone wisely once said, "the pain doesn't goes away, you just get used to it being there."
Later this week I will be leading a service to celebrate the life of a lady who was greatly loved and respected, who died recently. The emphasis of the service will be very much on thanksgiving for and celebration of her life, and yet at the same time we cannot hide away from the natural sadness and deep sense of loss felt by her family and friends. Despite the "stiff upper lip" tradition which many of us try to hang on to, the reality is that tears can be an expression of natural emotions; we were created to express emotion. Jesus himself wept at the grave of a friend.
Even for those of us who follow Jesus, believe that he has overcome death, and know that death is merely a doorway to a new life in the presence of God, we do not have immunity from the pain of separation. If a loved one dies in the faith of Christ, and we share that faith too, we know that one day we will be reunited with them, and that truth is wonderfully reassuring. In the meantime, God himself promises to 'comfort the broken hearted'; through his strength, and with the sensitive support and encouragement of friends and family, we can deal with times of great loss. But let's not try to ignore those natural human emotions - they are part of how God made us.
Last week's big news as far as TV was concerned was the eagerly awaited return to our TV screens of Downton Abbey. The fourth series of Downton began minus a few of the major characters from the last series, most notably of all Matthew Crawley, who was dramatically killed off in a motor accident at the end of series 3. His widow, Lady Mary, is in deep mourning (though, to be honest, she has hardly been a barrel of laughs in previous series!) Much of the first programme of series 4 revolved around the repercussions of Matthew's death.
One element of the discussions which took place was the untimely and unexpected nature of his death. He was still a relatively young man, and had just celebrated the birth of his and Mary's first child. What particularly took my notice was when one character commented of Matthew, "He thought that his death was many years away."
Perhaps this sentence stood out to me because the subject of life and death has been on my mind quite a bit recently. Last week, on my day off, Sue and I were making our way back home from a walk when we came across a road sign which caught my attention:
Seeing the sign immediately reminded me of the joke about the council which realised their mistake in naming a new road, containing residences for the elderly, St Peter's Close! There have been many jokes over the years about people meeting St Peter at the 'pearly gates.'
Sue and I have enjoyed watching the dvds of the hit US medical drama, House, starring Hugh Laurie. Despite that fact that there is much in the lifestyle and beliefs of House and some of his colleagues which are in clear conflict with our Christian faith, we have found ourselves enjoying the series, far-fetched as some of the stories are. Interestingly, the vast majority of patients which House and his team treat ask the very same question: "Am I going to die?"
Of course their question relates to the timing of death, but as we all know, the ultimate answer is yes - you are going to die! I know several people who are currently facing the reality of cancer. When one gets a diagnosis of a life-threatening illness like cancer, the reality of our human mortality becomes very clear. The real question for all of us is, "will I be ready to face death when it comes?"
Though the Bible makes the reality of death very clear, it also gives the assurance that if our faith is in Jesus Christ we have no need to fear. Jesus himself experienced death, yet is alive today. He defeated death, and makes the promise that all who put their faith in him can know life beyond death.
The truth is that none of us know how long we have left on this earth. The important thing is that we are ready for when our earthly existence comes to an end.
I grew up in a small East Yorkshire village. Despite having to 'cope' with 4 older sisters (and, eventually, a younger brother), the vast majority of my childhood memories are positive. As a family we attended our local Methodist Church. It was only about 25 yards from our back door to the church entrance, so we were usually on time! I have been back to that church quite a few times during my adult life, and each time it has brought back some wonderful memories. One of my not so positive memories relates to what used to happen when we arrived at church each Sunday morning.
We usually walked the short distance to church together as a family. There was always someone on the door to welcome visitors and hand out the hymn books. What seemed very strange and rather unfair to me as a child was that my parents and sisters would be given the normal hymn books, but when it came to me I was given one of the old tatty hymn books. The people on the door obviously thought that someone of my age couldn't be trusted to look after a good condition hymn book! I can't say that this caused me sleepless nights, but perhaps sub-consciously it made me feel that as a child I was a second class citizen. Every now and then the memory resurfaces, so clearly it had some effect.
In the 1st century culture of the New Testament, children were certainly treated like second class citizens. Perhaps that is part of the reason why on one occasion, when some parents brought their children to Jesus to have him bless them, the disciples rebuked the people and tried to keep them and their children away from Jesus. I love Jesus' reaction:
When Jesus noticed this,
he was angry and said to his disciples, “Let the children come to me,
and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as
these. I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on each of them, and blessed them. (Mark 10:14-16)
In the eyes of the disciples (and of their society) these children were of little value. In Jesus' eyes, they were precious beyond measure. That passage has always held a special meaning to me, and is a constant reminder that every person is loved by God and is special in his sight; there are no second class citizens with God. Although the tatty hymnbooks may have made me feel that I was not as important as an adult (or even my older sisters!), that little village church is one which will remain special to me because it was there that I first met God in a real way at the tender age of just 5 years old.
It was after one Sunday morning church service (I can't remember the exact date) that I returned home, knelt down on the stairs, and committed my life to Jesus. Although I was so young, and my knowledge wasn't great, from that moment on I knew that Jesus was a friend in whom I could trust. Together we have been on some amazing adventures over the ensuing years. Often I have let him down, but he has never failed me.
It can be quite scary following Jesus; sometimes he has led me to places and situations where I have felt totally out of my depth. But I don't regret for one minute my decision to give my life to him; I know that wherever I go and whatever I face he is my constant companion, and gives me the courage and strength to do things which I could never achieve in my own strength. Over the years my knowledge and understanding of God has developed in many ways, but I will never forget that the journey really began when I was just 5 years of age. When Jesus took those children in his arms and blessed them, he showed that they were precious. We are all precious in his eyes!
A couple of interesting happenings from last weekend: The first one occurred after the Sunday evening service which I had led in a local Methodist church (though not one where I am minister). An elderly gentleman approached me afterwards and said, "It's nice to have a younger preacher". I must confess that it's rather a long time since anyone referred to me in those terms! I quite enjoyed the moment, although a number of those to whom I have reported the comment have found it very amusing. I have always thought that age is in some ways a very subjective thing - as someone has pointed out, there is a sense in which you are as old as you feel. Most of the time I still feel fairly young, even if my body sometimes tells me otherwise!
Yesterday was a busy day ("a packed programme" as the Two Ronnies used to say). One of the events which Sue and I attended was an open garden to which we were invited by a lady who attends one of my churches. Once each year this lady and her husband open their garden to raise money for a cancer charity. We worked out that we could just about fit in a visit, so after our morning service at church, and then calling in at a farewell "do" for our local curate, we set off for the house.
We had not been to this property before, so didn't quite know what to expect. The house is situated in a pleasant road, perhaps about a mile from where we live. The house was attractive but didn't look anything out of the ordinary for that area. We heard voices coming from the back garden and made our way round the side of the house to find the entrance to the back garden. When walked through the side gate and looked at the garden we were absolutely amazed.
I have been a fan of Doctor Who since the programme first hit our TV screens back in 1963. I've lost count of the number of times over the years when a person has entered the Tardis for the first time and exclaimed "It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!"
Sue and I had a 'Tardis experience' when we entered this back garden. We were shocked to discover its size, and the fact that it contained a small lake with ducks and geese (not to mention a life-sized model giraffe, elephant and gorilla!) From the front of the house it was impossible to imagine what lay behind.
This may sound a bit corny, but as I've reflected on that experience it has occurred to me that coming to know God could be described as a Tardis experience. The more we come to know God, the more we realise that there is so much more to discover. I've been blessed to know God since I first put my faith in Jesus Christ at the age of 5. But I know that in some ways I've only just scratched the surface of the depths of God's amazing nature and character. The Psalmist invites us to 'taste and see that the Lord is good.' When we do 'taste' of who God is, it only gives us an appetite for more.
At the time of writing this blog, many football fans will be counting down the last few hours until the football transfer window closes (for the benefit of non fans, the football transfer window is a period during which players can be transferred from one club to another). Some fans will be hoping that in the last few hours before the window closes their club will make a big signing or two; others will be desperately hoping that their favourite players don't get nabbed by another team at the last minute!
Many people inside football heartily dislike the transfer window system. After all, it's hard to imagine any other occupation where there are certain periods when an employee is not allowed to move from one job to another! Hundreds of millions of pounds have changed hand in recent weeks, and to top it all, former Spurs player Gareth Bale has been transferred to Spanish giants Real Madrid for a mind-boggling world record fee of £85m.
Of course it's not only the transfer fee which is enormous. Bale has reportedly signed a 6-year deal with Real Madrid worth around £300,000 per week. At a rough calculation it would take me around 14 years to earn what Gareth Bale will earn each week! Do I begrudge Bale the amount he is receiving? Well I may not think that anyone is worth that amount, but if Real Madrid have offered to pay him those wages, who am I to complain? If financial rewards were a major motivating factor for me I would probably never have left the world of accountancy to train for the Methodist ministry!
Funnily enough, the gospel records tell us that Jesus often talked about money and possessions, as did the apostle Paul. Contrary to what many people believe, it does NOT say in the Bible that 'money is the root of all evil'. What Paul wrote was, 'the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.' What Paul was warning against was making money our god. If money and possessions are the driving force of our life, then we are likely to end up sad and disappointed.
There is a passage in the gospels which tells of a rich young ruler who came to Jesus one day with a question about eternal life. The man had obviously done his best to live an upright life. Jesus looked into his heart and saw that his riches held him back from true commitment to God. 'Sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me' said Jesus. Sadly, the man was not able to do as Jesus suggested. His problem wasn't that he had riches, it was that his riches had him and he couldn't break free. How sad that he missed out on a life of following Jesus just to hang on to his pile of money.
So whether we have pots of money or very little, the challenge is still the same: do we hold loosely to what we have, being ready to use it wisely and generously? Or do we make our possessions the centre of our life? Ultimately we have to make a choice. As Jesus himself said, 'a person cannot serve both God and money.'
I for one wish Gareth Bale every success in Spain. He's a great footballer and appears to be a nice young man. Judging from the reception he's already received from the Spanish fans, he's certainly going to receive all the fame, adulation and monetary rewards he could hope for. I just hope and pray that he understands that these things are temporary and fading. As the Beatles so rightly sung, "Money can't buy me love". Love is far more precious than pounds or euros, and the truest love is found in relationship with God.
