Whose way will you do it?

I recently took the funeral service of a lady who, although she was given the name Dorothy at birth, had been known all her life as Dolly.  She had lived into her 90s, and although there was a natural sadness and sense of loss at her passing, the service was focused very much on celebrating her life and the treasured memories which she leaves behind.  She was a lady of strong Christian faith, and the two hymns which we sung during the service, "The Lord's my Shepherd" and "Come, let us sing of a wonderful love"  spoke of the reality of the loving presence of God in every circumstance of life.

As the funeral party processed into the crematorium chapel, the music which had been chosen by the family was played over the p.a. system.  We heard Louis Armstrong's powerful rendering of the song, "Hello Dolly".  I suppose that some might think it a little irreverent, and I'm not sure that all the lyrics of the song exactly fitted the occasion, but it seemed to me a positive way to lift the spirits of those who were present and to put a smile on people's faces.  After all, we were there to celebrate a life well lived.

When I first began life as a Methodist minister back in 1990, hymn/music choices at funeral services, whether in church or at the crematorium, were, generally speaking, fairly traditional.  Amongst the favourite hymns at the time were "The old rugged cross" and "Abide with me".  Times have changed as the years have passed by.  No longer can it be assumed that most people will have any acquaintance with traditional hymns.   It is not uncommon for families to choose not to have any hymns at funeral services, especially if those attending are not likely to know them.  Trying to sing a hymn which few people know can be a painful experience!

The choice of accompanying music has become much more varied, sometimes with a humorous element.  I remember some years ago that a rather large gentleman was carried into the crematorium to the tune "He ain't heavy, he's my brother."  That certainly brought a smile to a few faces!

Some ministers have a fairly strict policy regarding what they will allow in terms of music etc. at funeral services.  I have always taken the view that the funeral service is primarily for the benefit of the family and other mourners, and wherever possible I have tried to go with the family's wishes.  I must admit, however, that there is one song which I don't really like to hear at a funeral service (though I don't disallow it).  It isn't because I don't quite like the song, it's just the implications which go with it.  The song?  Frank Sinatra's version of "I did it my way".

The opening words of the song are certainly appropriate for a funeral service:  "And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain."  The problem, as far as I see it, comes with the main theme of the song: "I did it my way".  The writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews states, 'people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment' (Hebrews 9:27).   All of us will one day stand before the judgement seat of God.  I'm not sure that God will be all that impressed when we say, as we look back over our lives, "Well, God, I did it my way!"

Because God is gracious, he gives us the gift of free will. The choice is clear: we can live life in God's way, or we can choose our own way.  The choice we make will affect not only this earthly life but also our eternal destiny.  I like to listen to "Ol' Blue Eyes", but I have some reservations about the implications of singing this particular song at a funeral service!