Testing the boundaries

One of my favourite roles in life is that of being a grandad.  It is less than two and a half years since Max, our first grandchild, arrived on the scene.  Since then Beth, Ben and James have joined the family.  I'm sure that most grandparents believe that their grandchildren are special, and ours certainly are!  It is a joy to spend time with our three grandsons and our granddaughter, although I now understand what other grandparents have said to me over the years about the relief of not having to look after grandchildren full time.  Young children can be quite a handful at times, and I am full of admiration for our grandchildren's parents as they handle their parental responsibilities!

Bringing up children is both one of life's greatest joys and one of life's most awesome responsibilities.  All the evidence suggests that the influences in a child's early years have a lasting effect on the individual's future life in so many different aspects.  Without doubt parental input into a child's life has tremendous influence.  There is a verse in the Biblical book of Proverbs which states, 'Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it' (Proverbs 22:6).  Of course that is not a 'law', and sometimes as children develop into young adulthood they may chose a different way from that of their parents.  However, I believe that it is an important principle.  How a child is brought up is bound to have an influence in later life, to a greater or lesser degree.

I have been fascinated to see how our grandchildren are developing in character and in other ways.  After the very early days when a baby is totally dependent on their parents for everything, the child begins to embrace a level of independence.  Then comes the time when they begin to test the boundaries of parental guidance.  Certainly both Max and Beth are at that stage!  Most of the time they do as their parents tell them, but on occasions they decide that they know better and overstep the mark.

A really important aspect of parenthood is to teach a child that some behaviour is acceptable and some is not; to help the child understand that there are defined boundaries of acceptable behaviour and that if they overstep the mark there are consequences to be faced.  That task is, of course, easier said than done!  Sue and I feel so tremendously blessed that despite our far from perfect parental skills our three children have become amazing adults of whom we are tremendously proud.  It is our prayer that all our grandchildren will grow and develop in similar ways.

It is of great encouragement to me to realise that as we pray for our children and grandchildren, God understands.  After all, God is the loving parent of us all.  He, too, sets boundaries and directions for people to live by and follow.  He also clearly sets out the consequences of not walking in his way.  But he gives us the gift of free will: we can choose to walk in God's way or we can decide that we know better.  A cursory glance around today's world will enable us to see the consequences of choosing 'our way.'

There have been plenty of times in my own life when I have thought (to my cost) that I knew better than God.  As we grow in maturity in our relationship with God we come to understand that he really does want the very best for us and that he does indeed know best.  I pray that our wonderful grandchildren come to discover that truth for themselves, and that in the meantime they realise that (at least most of the time) their parents know best, too!