Despair will give way to joy

One of the ‘promises’ of Jesus which I’ve never seen on a Christian’s lapel badge or wall poster is where he stated to his disciples, ‘In this world you will have trouble’ (John 16.33).  In a speech towards the end of 1992, the Queen announced that the year had been “annus horribilis”, a Latin phrase meaning “horrible year.”  I have to say that the month of January 2017 was for me a fairly “mense horribilis” (horrible month).  There were some bright spots along the way, but on the whole it was tough.

My struggles started just before Christmas, with the onset of a chest infection which really drained my energy and enthusiasm.  Our physical state can often influence how we are feeling emotionally and spiritually.  As January progressed, my energy levels slowly returned, but in lots of ways I didn’t feel in a good place emotionally or, to some extent, spiritually.

I’ve tried, over the years, never to pretend that just because I am a church leader everything is always hunky-dory.   Like every human being, there are times when life seems hard.  There may be contributing factors, but sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint the exact causes.  The apostle Paul made the point in one of his letters that followers of Jesus are involved in a spiritual battle, and battles can be a struggle!

Whatever the reasons, January was a tough month for me.  I did a lot of praying, asking God for strength in this period of weakness.  Part of the answer was two books which came my way during the month.  This first was a book by Brian Houston, ‘Live Love Lead’.  The book is subtitled, ‘Your best is yet to come.’  Among other issues, Houston addresses those times what life is hard, and the temptation to give up is faced.  He writes out of his own experience as a church leader, and I found the book to be a real encouragement.  There is so much in the book which I could quote, but here are a couple of small sections:

‘If we stop just because we are in pain and can’t imagine how to continue, then we’ll miss out on what God wants to do in our lives … I encourage you – no matter how difficult the path gets, how distant the vision, how uncomfortable the stretch – to choose calling over comfort.’

Whenever I’ve gone through dark times over the years, the knowledge that I have been called by God to this ministry has been one of the key things which has kept me going.  Though Jesus said we would face tough times, he also promised that he would walk with us always.  I would strongly recommend Houston’s book to anyone in Christian leadership.

The other book which came my way was a little book by Dave and Jenny Gilpin.  I knew Dave as a fellow church leader during my time in Sheffield.  The book is called ‘Heaven Sent’ and I really believe it was (God can respond to our prayers and speak to us in many different ways!)  The book contains short sayings and some Bible verses which were just what I needed to hear.  This is another book which I would strongly recommend as a real encouragement that God has a wonderful plan and purpose for our lives.

The other book which has also been a great encouragement to me is the Bible itself.  There are lots of characters in the Bible who at times found life to be a struggle.  The Bible doesn’t shy away from the realities of life.  One passage which spoke to me came from the Psalms:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him. Psalm 40.1-3

As my brother, Phil commented, the “slimy pits” are no fun at all.  But the confident hope of this Psalm is that God will in due course lift us out and set our feet on solid ground again.  As another Psalm states, ‘Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning’ (Psalm 30.5).

Which brings me to an event which happened right at the end of the month which has helped enormously in lifting my spirits.  I began this blog by quoting Jesus ‘promise’ that we would face hard times.  Looking at the context, Jesus is trying to encourage the disciples to understand that the hard times won’t last forever.  Despair will give way to joy.  He uses the illustration of childbirth: ‘A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world’ (John 16.21).  On 31 January, our daughter Steph gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Esther Grace.  After such a difficult month, I found myself weeping tears of joy at the news, and I look forward to meeting Esther personally tomorrow.  What a blessing to lift the spirits!

Not an easy month, but through it I’ve grown closer to God, and my commitment to serving him has deepened.  The best is yet to be!