Spending time

I spent part of yesterday with the leadership team of one of my churches.  After our arrival at the venue (and the obligatory cup of coffee!), we discussed our expectations and what we were looking forward to about the day.  One recurring theme was the opportunity to spend time together. 

It just so happens that the phrase “spending time” had been on my mind quite a bit recently.  Many of us complain about not having enough time, but the reality is that each day we are alive, we are each given exactly the same amount of time: 24 hours.  The difference comes in how we decide to “spend” that time.  If we go shopping with, say, £30, in our pocket, then we have a choice how to spend the money: a coffee and cake, an item of clothing, a book, or whatever.  In the same way, we are given a set amount of time to spend each day, but we make choices about how to spend it.

I have been reading a book by Rob Parsons called “Loving Against the Odds”.  It is a book for married couples (or those contemplating marriage).  The author looks at some of the issues which couples can face in their relationship.  Rob Parsons founded an organisation called “Carefor the Family”, which seeks to support and encourage families and marriages.  Over the years, he has come across many of the issues which cause difficulties in relationships, one of which is the use (or misuse) of time.  When we don’t devote sufficient quality time to a relationship, that relationship will inevitably suffer.

Many of us live busy lives, with all sorts of demands placed on us.  It is not difficult to fall into the trap of spending so much time on various areas of life that we end up neglecting our relationships with those we love most.  When we make bad choices about how we spend our time, consequences will follow.  In his book, Rob Parsons quotes a moving song which was sung by the late Harry Chapin, “The Cat’s in the Cradle”.  The song illustrates very powerfully the potential consequences of a bad choice in the use of time:

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
You know we'll have a good time then.

I've long since retired and my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you.

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then, dad
We're gonna have a good time then.

Time is precious: spend it wisely!