Give and take - the key to good relationships

There is much in the news these days of the increasing regularity of marriage breakdown. One local nightclub even advertises "divorce parties", which I find a very sad indictment on our society. Marriage isn't always easy, and every marriage goes through its rough patches. Remarkably, three separate couples at Priory, my church, recently celebrated 60 years of married life, and another couple celebrated their golden wedding anniversary. 230 years between the four couples!

In my experience (a mere 33 years so far!), there are certain trigger points which can, if we don't be careful, set off arguments between Sue and I. One of those used to be when we were on a long car journey and Sue was navigating. For some reason we never quite managed to get on the same wavelength. Fortunately the advent of satellite navigation systems has solved that particular dilemma!

We were faced with another potentially difficult area this week. Sue and I spent the past week at our flat in Scarborough. We have had it for quite a few years now, and although we decorated throughout when we first bought the flat, parts are looking a bit shabby and ready for redecoration. We decided that our post-Easter break would be spent at the flat, and that we would redecorate the main bedroom. Wallpapering has been another of the areas where, over the years, we have had our share of arguments.

We had several discussions over the choice of wallpaper, and it took quite some time for us to eventually make a choice. Sue agreed with my idea to go for a wallpaper mural on one wall. We had never done this before, and putting it up was a whole new experience for us.

To add to our difficulties, Sue had some kind of virus during the week. I'm not really sure why wallpapering has, over the years, caused tension between us. When we get on with it and work together as a team, we get on ok. The real problem probably lies in our different approach the job. I tend to want to get on with things asap, whereas Sue (quite rightly) wants to take time to do the job properly. In the end I guess that we managed to complete the job with a bit of compromise on both sides.

Just before Jesus was arrested and taken for crucifixion, he prayed for his disciples. His prayer was that they might be in unity and love together. He had already told his disciples that their love for one another would be a sign to the world that they truly were his followers. One of the key elements of love is the willingness to compromise; or, to put it another way, being willing to give and take. Sue and I don't always get it right, but we managed it (about) this week, and the job was done. Even the mural looked ok!